We all have them right......things we do, or have deep inside of us that don't make us proud....make us feel less than......and I am not speaking of physical flaws.....I am speaking to those things that are so deep inside of our personality, the things we battle and fight to overcome.....and I suppose there are people who believe they are flawless LOL:) God bless them;-) but for most of us we are keenly aware of where we fall short in our lives.......I have a friend in a relationship.......it is a relationship after both of their first marriages and they are hitting the part where those flaws and shortcomings are stepping forward, and becoming the focal point....both of them seeing that in one another and some of the magic they felt initially being dimmed by that.....and it got me thinking......so many things.......about my own flaws, the things that make me hesitate sometimes about sharing my life with another again......things that I will have to fight hard to overcome if the man of my dreams arrives;-) it got me thinking that once you have a failed marriage do those things become more apparent as your vision is clear and your eyes are wide open........your threshold for things becoming lowered immensely.......hard to avoid really, after you have been burned so badly and have proven to yourself that you can walk alone sans aggravation......and find peace as a party of one.......so then I suppose it becomes a game of risk vs reward......what are you willing to swim through for another's heart, for their love, for their devotion......all good questions......and then I thought how focused really should we all be on each other's faults? We all know.......or should know that the way to make another feel loved and bring forward their best selves is to love them as they are.....we bloom under that right.......under feeling like we are enough.....that what is magical and good in us is enough......and when somebody sees our flaws and loves us anyway.....well that is the gold......and in thinking of it all, it is such a delicate balance of the two.....being self aware enough to know what is good for you, or maybe not so good for you......but also meeting people where they are......where they live........the places they hold in our lives........and it is tempting to cut ourselves off at the first sign of trouble......not feeling like it is worth wading in those waters.......potentially leading us to the same heartache, the same disappointment, the same stuff we have tried to overcome......to avoid........but if we do that we count ourselves out of the journey and experience.....and the opportunity to grow.......like really grow with another human......transcending......evolving......and being honest about our fears and what gives us pause, and helping each other become the best version of ourselves each and every day and certainly in each other's eyes.......the reflection that we hold for those we love, should be one of forgiveness and grace.......one that allows for the human condition to step forward......and allows for imperfections.......for flaws.......for all of that......but ultimately one that reflects back the magic we all possess.......reminding us of that magic when we forget it, the magic that lives inside of all of us........that is the goal indeed!
jperuso
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