I am going to do my best to articulate an experience I had yesterday, one that was pretty powerful.....and do my best to convey why it was so powerful, and why it was something I wanted to blog about.....my intuitive sense has grown immensely through this experience....it is something I talk about in my blog from time to time, but haven't dove into fully.....in addition to it driving my life now in my soul, and feeling my way forward, it has carried over to my sense of people.....and feeling things or picking up on more of the subtleties of interactions in my day to day in all ways.....and sometimes even in stuff that is going on from afar and being able to confirm what I was feeling was true.....and I have found my "sense" of things is heightened in so many more ways.....I feel I had some of it all my life.....sensing things related to emotion and people, and always feeling other people deeply.......but all of that sense has grown, and evolved, and allowed for me to really feel things in a more clear and in a deeper way.....and for me it has opened up a new level of living or experiencing the world.....a gift I feel that has been given, to be able to use alongside my coaching and all sorts of things in my new chapter of life.....so I say all of that to give some needed background information to explain yesterday.....I was in church.....and I was sitting with my kids until they went to Sunday School......and a man came in with his kids a little late, somebody I had never seen before.....he had single dad vibes.....and he sat right behind me.....his kids too going off to Sunday School.....and we sang a fun song to kick off church, one that the kids sing at Vacation Bible Camp......and it involves shaking hands with folks next to you as you sing about it, and bumping hips with people around you, and rubbing backs of people around you.....and he and I happened to be in our pews alone....and the shaking hands part was easy, we turned to each other and shook hands....and then the pastor came and rubbed both of our backs during that part, which was sweet......his awareness of us being alone there.....and the pastor moved on toward the end of the verse and all of the sudden I felt the man hesitantly reach out to rub my back as the verse about that was ending....and I felt him deeply as he touched my back......I felt his loneliness and that he was missing human connection some.....and it may sound hokey to say.....and it may be hard for somebody to understand how I would know such a thing.....or more importantly feel such a thing.......but I clearly did, as if he had said it to me......and maybe it was my knowing what it is like to miss those things too.....and feel the absence of touch and connection in my new life.....but I felt his loneliness and sadness some as he quickly rubbed my back....and it took me off guard.....I turned and smiled at him so he did not feel so weird about it.....because his gesture was kind and out of his comfort zone, timid and I sensed that......he seemed kind of lost some......and I have written a few times about that piece as a single person.....missing being touched or connecting with somebody physically in an affectionate sense or at all.......and it is legitimate and real.......and all I felt in that small exchange brought a sense of him to me.....and the realization of it all again......my aloneness coming into sharp focus....which it normally isn't.....I only feel it every once in awhile....but when it comes it is clear.....and vivid.....and yesterday was no exception.....a powerful reminder of my place in the world and there it was.......and it was a lovely church service and ended up kicking off a lovely day....my mom and I took the kids to a pumpkin patch and did all the things fall that I love and the kid's love.....Gabe was raving about it on the way home.....and Mads told me she had an awesome day yesterday as she was falling asleep.....but that experience stuck with me some....and just giving a nod and some awareness to the challenges us single parents face as we walk our path....and making me even more grateful for my kids and having them to share this life and journey with......and making me feel less alone in it all:) Have a good Monday y'all:)
jperuso
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