I am certain there are people around that have something to say about my journey......maybe speak behind my back.......and it is OK with me......I didn't ask to be thrown into this story.......didn't ask for this narrative to become the background of my life......but I am under no circumstances apologizing for my journey and how I travel it......and the choices I have made along the way.........and it is a new level of freedom in my life......I have always been pretty open with my life......willing to share......and always loved hearing others stories.....their REAL......their AUTHENTIC stuff......but obviously through this, and certainly in my blog I have been really transparent......and the inclination to do so, came to me very early on......in my first FB post, where I put out there gently.......delicately.....what was happening.......I wasn't interested in having him vanish from my newsfeed and have people whisper......wonder.....spin their own story.......I also wasn't interested in hiding in shame or any of it......there was no reason to......so by owning my OWN story.......it gave me great peace and the ability to step into my authenticity......my own REAL......my own story with all I had....and in that decision.......I had to accept some things.......I had to accept that some people just won't get it......won't understand how I can be so bold.....so honest about it all.....and you know what it is OK that they don't, my journey is not theirs and not for them.....although I do believe that if anybody becomes highly critical of another, it is a sign that they should check something within themselves, and ask themselves why they care so much what another person does.......but still in all ........I have accepted that not everybody will get it.....and perhaps I will lose some friends in the process.......through every trauma in my life some people have stayed, some have left, and some new folks have shown up.......and it is just part of the deal.......some people in our lives are not built for our real......only when times are easy.....and that is OK too......I am at the place in my life where I only want people around me that are real......that are wanting to understand and walk some of this with me......I had to accept that I would change a bunch.......and in that changing that would create distance between myself and others........and that is OK too.......it is part of this deal too......I had to accept that much of my journey would require me to tackle it alone......to get in touch with me and work through all of what comes.......but in all those things I had to accept as I embraced my authentic self something amazing happened......this enormous support system stepped forward and said "WE GET IT"........I am infinitely grateful for that....the people that read my blog daily humble me beyond words.......the messages I get privately touch my heart in ways I cannot even explain......the support I receive from my true friends and family is second to none.......so in this space where I stood up......bravely......and said this is ME.......either love it or don't......and took that chance........because I felt so compelled to be me each and every step of this.......the most magical thing has happened.......most people do get it......most people do see where I am headed.......where I want to be......how I am showing up in my life and the lives of others......and those that don't......I truly wish them well......I don't harbor bad feelings......my story is my own.......I make no apologies.......and will continue to honor myself and walk in my truth each and every day for the rest of my life.......:)
jperuso
Comments