The other woman matters.......

It has been awhile since I have written a blog about the other woman and what my feelings are related to that......these days the fact remains that she and I have come a LONG way.....those early days were brutal.....and there was so much that took place, and so much that went on between all of us as feelings were at their height and tensions ran high......but as feelings have settled and clarity has taken hold it has evolved.......when I finally learned and had to accept that she would be a part of the picture as it came to my kids, and seeing them, and being in their lives it was super challenging......but at a certain point I accepted it and then decided that I needed to try and make it as amicable as it could be, and embrace it, and extend grace to her and understanding......and she has since joined me in that space....she is very good to my children, which is the thing I am most grateful for......they like and care for her very much.......and the fact remains that even if she were not good to my children I would still have to send them with her and their dad......and I am so blessed that that is not so......she has owned her part of this story with me, and worked toward making amends and validating my experience in it all......that has been huge......I have appreciated her willingness and bravery in doing that, as I am certain it was not an easy thing for her to do.......as it stands today it is a long way from those early days, and it is maybe the thing I am most proud of......the work I have done inside of myself to allow myself to open up a space for her in my life......knowing that it must be for the sake of my children and everybody's well being.......I have admired and respected her willingness to step forward in this new space between us and work toward the greater good......it is quite a thing to make peace with somebody that had a role in the most painful and excruciating part of your life.....it is definitely a lesson in forgiveness and of healing and of all the things we look to experience in this life as human beings........a lesson in humanity and a willingness to transcend the things that hold us back......anger bitterness and all the rest.....I vowed to not stoop into those things and let them seek to destroy my life.......I have tried throughout all of this to seek light and joy and hope and working on forgiveness.....and in turn seeking those things have allowed me to be more free each and every single day.......the other woman matters in my story......and the matters related to her matter.......and I am grateful for where we both reside today......in a space I am guessing she never thought possible at one point either.....our common understanding of my children and their well being being worth it has bonded us in this path.......and it feels good to have peace reign over our days......who knew......grateful for God's grace in all of it and a peace that passes all understanding.....it is a powerful thing indeed........