Trauma is such a heavy thing......and a tricky thing in the way it impacts us all.....I am guessing there are very few people out there that have not had trauma come to find them....and most of us likely multiple times......and each time it makes a deep impact on who we are and how we get up and walk in the world......and it is so hard to fight.....what is real, and what is in our minds as a result of what has befallen us.....I know in my case the trauma has surfaced at times and in situations I did not want it to......and really without my permission.....it just happening, and me having to catch myself and realize what was happening and craft a new story......so it is an every day intentional process......but I was thinking of how fascinating it is to think of how complex our bodies and minds really are......processing some really big hit our beings have taken......and putting it somewhere so we can function in our day to day, but carrying that imprint......like where does it go.......in our soul? our heart? our mind? In the essence of who we are.....none of us want to be our trauma......and yet we collect it as we travel and it becomes a part of us......and sometimes it slips out to mess up something else in our life or impact our walk.....the trauma from the end of my marriage, and the betrayal has most definitely impacted some of the situations I have been through since......even though I am conscious, even though I don't want it to......even though......because it is sneaky, it comes wearing different clothing, saying different things to us, and we don't always recognize it as such until it is too late sometimes.......I am continuing doing trauma work in therapy and in trauma meditations.....doing releasing of trauma ones.......and it is interesting in some of them they have you sense where you hold your trauma......and mine always comes up in my stomach......and I believe that if we don't deal with our emotional stuff it will present itself in physical ways.....so it is not to be ignored.....and the more I purge.....the more I learn.....the more I release......the healthier I am, and the healthier I become......but it is a process.......one I am committed to as I travel......purging the trauma and working through it on repeat.....and doing my best for it to not impact my future, whenever I can catch it, or fight through a feeling or an action as a result....but all of it is a reminder too of the importance of treading lightly in everybody's life, because we really don't know how many silent battles they are fighting each day.......
jperuso
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