I went to Gabe's friend's viewing yesterday.....I originally thought I may go get Gabe from his dad's for a little bit and bring him, but decided not to.....realizing it may be a lot for him....and it would have been.....the viewing was at our church.....and there were so many people that showed up to pay their respects to Riley.......a line extending out of the building.....45 minutes at least to get through it....and I stood there taking it all in.....the sun making an appearance, and the weather being fairly warm......and everyone was so sad, many tears, and the emotion hung in the air, a visible heaviness as the sun shone down upon us......I waited quietly and pondered it all....having it all bring me back to when my sister passed.....and the line wrapping around Stroyan's funeral home that day too.....and as I waited in the line yesterday I was bracing myself......for the moment.....the one I knew was coming......the one where I stood before the family.....knowing so fully how they feel due to the loss myself, and my family endured.....and since the loss of my sister.....viewings and funerals have taken on a different level of empathy, compassion, sadness, and understanding for me.....it is as if somebody links us with an invisible hose.....heart to heart....and when I hug them I can feel it all.....and yesterday was the same....as soon as I got to them.....the tears came.....and hugging them all brought forward that hose....linking us heart to heart......and feeling their hearts and grief so so deeply.....and it was heartbreaking.....and they were so strong.....I marveled at that yesterday......we ask SO much of people with shattered hearts.....to set up viewings and funerals so soon after such a huge loss.....and my understanding of that coming from withstanding that same kind of receiving line.....endless folks coming by and hugging us, and paying their respects for my sister.....and clearly there is no other way when you are laying somebody to rest....it just is......but it takes an incredible amount of strength and courage to stand there and withstand your own grief and sadness, and then feel the sadness of others too......and Riley's mom was sweetly comforting people as they passed through so gracefully, bravely, and sincerely.....and with such kindness.....and I marveled at their strength.....knowing what it takes to be that strong in the face of such a devastating loss...and only imagining the next level.....if my sister had been my child.......a loss so deep and wide...it is hard to articulate....and knows no bounds......and I was moved by all of it......knowing that it is absolutely the right thing to go and pay your respects......it matters to the family that has to stand up there, and summon their brave, and receive everybody.....it all matters.....and they have been in my heart and mind all week....my praying for their peace.....and that their strong faith will sustain them through this time in their lives.....there was a beauty in bearing witness and seeing our community come together to share their support with his family......wrapping their arms around them....... literally one by one......and letting them know they are not alone.....I am hoping now that they have laid him to rest.....they too find rest.....in that peace I spoke of a couple of days ago....the one that passes understanding, and the one that keeps us upright, when the devastating stuff finds us.....I am praying for them, and continuing to pray that they all find that as they journey on without their sweet boy..........Amen......
jperuso
Comments