A single mom STAND

Yesterday was such a challenging day, the energy everywhere, was YIKES......and my morning began in the most unfortunate way.....I was supposed to receive an oil delivery the prior day that never came....and when asked about it, they said it would be coming yesterday morning, also asking if a path had been cleared for the delivery guy??? Now here is the thing.....I am a COMPLETE rule follower.....and IF that had been shared beforehand, I would have used my snow blower to blow a path and do my very best to comply with their guideline......however my oil fill is also just right across the front of my house, and around the corner, and I had dug out around it.....so yesterday this information was shared minutes before his arrival....when he arrived, I watched him through the window, and saw his aggravation at there not being a path.....so I came out on the porch, in my bathrobe, and shared that I had just received the information about the path, and could get dressed to blow the path if he needed. He very gruffly said that never mind, he could do it this time, and I said I am sorry I didn't know, and then he barked at me, saying that it is common sense and I should have known??????.....and that is where I could not let it go fully.....I told him I found it very hard to believe that anybody without equipment, with this level of snow was shoveling their yard??? That there was SOOOO much of it......He insisted that they were.....so I went back inside, and our exchange might have ended there....but then I went upstairs to get dressed for my workout, we were on a two hour delay, and my daughter had been in my bedroom, and told me that he heard him say that "only good people clear a path"......now two things right here.....this is the place I struggle with as I have now found my voice, and my ability to make a stand for myself......the more enlightened place in me could have laid my ego down completely.....opting to not care about what he said.....chalking it up to his perhaps having an already bad day, being angry over the lousy weather, etc etc.....and maybe that was the right thing....but I have recently learned that you teach people how to treat you too, COMPLETELY, and I am teaching my daughter the same.....and I have learned that what you allow will continue.....so I could not let it lie there yesterday.....something in the air.....so I came back down as he was putting my bill on my door, which I might add was huge.....$3.88 a gallon......and I come out, to try and impart reason, and share what my daughter heard......confronting him about the "good person" comment, and how it was completely out of line all things considered.....explaining that I am here on my own, and just clearing everything was challenging.....and that it wasn't intentional toward him in any way......and he got so nasty and mean spirited immediately......continuing to be wildly defensive, and ugly in the face of my trying to impart logic to his madness.....sticking to his assertion that the world shovels their yards....which by the way I did not find to be true when I spoke to many people yesterday......he also had snow pants on and boot, prepared to walk the little ways to where he needed to....and let me go back to my first point that had I known, I certainly would have done my best to oblige.....but none of that is neither here nor there.....it was a new and important place for me....perhaps having my ego swirling in it.....I will admit.....but allowing him to call me a "bad person" in my driveway for my daughter to overhear, was my line......as the sparring escalated on his end.....I told him we would have to agree to disagree, and wished him a good day, and closed the door....but as a result my parents and myself will no longer be a customer of their oil service.....and it could have been solved right from the jump.....with his saying I realize you didn't know, and I would appreciate if you could do your best to clear it for next time.....that would have been it.....but when you personally attack a person.....especially when life is so challenging for us all at the moment......you run the risk of unintended consequences.....I was taken aback by his behavior, and how quickly he became nasty all things considered, and the circumstances.....he was super inappropriate in his rhetoric toward me, saying a bunch of ridiculous things......but on the other side I wasn't sorry I chose this spot to take a stand.....this is MY home.....and I work really hard to take care of it.....and take pride in that.....and of course I spend most of my efforts, and my life trying to do things that "good people" do.....and to come here, and disrespect all of that, felt like a place for me to make a stand........ultimately I feel sorry for him.....he clearly was a very unhappy man......and I am certain that his day began somewhere else that led to his behavior on my front porch......and I suppose as I type all of that, it also is in line with the new power I have found in myself.....FINALLY realizing how I deserve to be treated....and having been treated so poorly in the past, by men......and disrespectfully.....and having zero tolerance at this point to tolerate any of it......and there is nobody else to defend my honor at the moment.....so it is up to me........ And also having said all of that.....I also believe in letting as much go as possible if you can....most stuff is not worth the kind of energy I expended yesterday, it truly isn't.......but I felt he needed to be confronted about what he said.....I am not sure he learned anything from it.....but my kids did see me defend myself in a way that wasn't ugly or disrespectful, but strong and clear.....and that counts for something too! Here's to hoping today is a peaceful day lol:) Stay warm and HAPPY FRIDAY xoxo