Being Alone............

So I have always been a "pack animal" of sorts......my whole life.......love being with family......love being with people, and certainly loved being married and sharing my life with somebody......I thought all of those things to be true in the forever sense.....something I would never be able to live without.....or if I had to live without it it would be so difficult........however I am finding in the last couple of weeks a "lone wolf" kinda Jenn emerge and step forward......it has been kind of interesting for me to watch....I have been fascinated by the fact that that has been happening...unexpected for sure.......the Jenn that is emerging is totally OK with being alone......feels no need to fill that space with a "new man"........she doesn't feel sad when she is pulling up to the house knowing it will just be the kids waiting on her........she doesn't mind doing what she wants with her evenings........she is kinda in love with making household decisions all by herself........but what she is most loving is that she has energy at the end of the day to pour into herself, into her kids, and with energy to spare because she is not pouring into a place where her efforts and energy are not appreciated........not treasured......not used in any real way that makes a difference......a place where her energy was just burned up at a rapid rate......'Lone wolf" Jenn can't wait to find some new hobbies......conquer new skills........she can't wait to discover some new things about herself......be brave and open in ways she only imagined.......she is excited to take her kids on new adventures......blaze new trails.......find new life under the old.......watch beauty transform.....fill HER life with light, beauty, and love.........and IF at some point somebody comes along that wants to share that light AND bring THEIR own.........then she may join him......create a pack of sorts.......however she will never lose sight of those "lone wolf" pieces of herself......not EVER AGAIN.........