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Can you keep a secret??.....

  • jperuso
  • 2 hours ago
  • 3 min read

This came up three times in the last couple of days, and it seemed like something to take notice of......I had some conversations about the end of relationships in people's lives.....through talking to a client and some friends......and I am learning that MOST relationships are finite......having an expiration date......even though when we are in it, it doesn't seem that way......and if you are open and honest, and inclined to do so, you share with your friends, and your people.......and then when it ends, they are out there holding all of your deepest feelings and thoughts......and all of the people I had spoken with remarked about that fact.......all of them......like hating on that part.....and I have felt that too, more than once, and the other part I have come to realize is the MAJORITY of people are not loyal......saying one thing to your face, and doing or saying something as soon as your back is turned......and well........that is upsetting.....and unsettling, because while I have most definitely been guilty of talking about a person, it almost always has to do with an event that happened that was hurtful, or out of line......I very rarely choose to gossip, just for the sake of gossip if I can help it......but most people want to do that, and if you want to be a part of the flow, or the group, you have to be along for the ride......I much prefer to have REAL talk......about ideas.....inspirations......deep heart stuff, life, all of it over anything else.......and I am stepping back from fake in this era, completely, and working to become silent in conversations that feature other people in a way that is gossipy or unkind, just for the sake of those things.......and working to not align myself, or my life, with people that prove to not be faithful to me.....I have no energy for that kind of thing in my life anymore.....I keep secrets......I hold space.......I have empathy....and I am loyal to my people, and I want the same in return......so in these conversations I had, there were some implied questions that were left lingering........do we continue to trust people we encounter???......or do we go into all relationships with mistrust?? Choosing not to share ourselves, because the likelihood of the relationship ending at some point is high?? Hard to say right??.......However, I have to say I have also been blessed with some ride or die energy in my friendships......I truly have some ride or die, and fiercely loyal friends too, more than my fair share, and friends that carry the same fundamental belief I have about all of that......and I am fully able to be me with them, and say all the things......and anything......and really dig deep........but that is not always the case in this life......and I hope that as I journey, I am able to attract more of those people......and walk with them, without waiting for the expiration date to arrive.......and my heart hurt in all of these conversations with these people......having felt it myself before.....and it is not a good feeling......when a relationship ends......completely......and you are both left holding the other person's inner world......but I suppose there is nothing to be done about it......if integrity is in tow, then you keep that stuff to yourself.....and if not..... well......it circles back to the same thing, people will do what they do, and it won't have to do with us most of the time......it just is.......so in response to those questions that were left lingering, I feel like becoming jaded, and not trusting people is not an option for me personally......it isn't my nature.....but discernment is a good thing......and I will work harder on having a person earn my trust first, I often lead with trust until I am proven otherwise............but I do not ever see a situation where I won't be sharing my truth, and showing up as authentically as I can.....I am so fully me now that I cannot go back, and the price we pay for that is people leaving our lives, or our leaving theirs, with them having a piece of us......a part of our human condition for sure......and maybe we think about it all wrong, feeling vulnerable in the aftermath, instead of just feeling like we each left an imprint in the other person......I prefer to think of it like that........we get to walk with a person for as long as we are supposed to......for that I am certain.......and each time it becomes a thread that lives in the fabric of our lives......and no matter the rest, that is enough:) Happy Thursday:) xoxo

 
 
 

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