I don't respect or trust you......

These two things have been on my mind this week.....realizing that it is the two most important things to hold for somebody but once it is lost........it is lost.......I think learning that you can't trust somebody anymore in the ways you once you believed is one thing......but losing respect for them is a whole other.....maybe the hardest to accept.....to look at them, and no longer see them in the esteem you once placed them in......realizing that maybe it was that love and esteem that created them for you? Maybe they weren't worthy of your respect and trust from the beginning.....all of it being created by your own goodness, and good faith you gave them.....and well.......yikes right.......once you lose those things a person looks totally different to you.......the attractiveness that they once held in your eyes fading into the reality of it all.....and who they showed themselves to be.......and I have had this happen a couple of times.....in love and friendship......and it is so sad each time.....watching all that magical regard fade away in the truth......and I think having people respect us and how we live our lives, and treat others is so important.....working hard to live our life in a way that yields that as much as we can.....and being a trustworthy friend and partner......and I do not mean that we should not be ourselves....and maybe people won't respect all of what we choose to do as a result of our journey, and lives.....and that is on them.......but we should live in a way that garners respect......respect of ourselves, and respect of others always.....and the other piece is making sure our people show us respect always.....often people that do things that lack integrity or self respect can't show that respect to others either.....but these two things are the cornerstone of it all.....the most important things.....and there is a grief that settles in when you lose these things for somebody that you once put up on a pedestal.......believing so deeply in who you believed they were....and then the light of love....or the pink light I call it with one of my friends......goes out....and you are left looking at them through the stark light that is left based on their actions, and the things they finally showed you......having it all fall away......the sparkle fade.....and when somebody shows you who they are we should believe them......give room for change.....and grace even.......but note it deeply.....that THAT is likely who they really are.....and the rest is smoke and mirrors......like a mask slipping down some......so respect and trust.....absolutely everything.....what I seek to have for my people and receive from them.....and always sad to see those two things disappear for a person we once loved, and trusted, and respected fully.....However the other piece I have discovered is the gift in the knowing.....I am clear on only wanting people surrounding me that have those things for me, and people I can impart those things too......a great gift and not one to be taken for granted......never.....today finds me packing for my kids to go away this next week for the whole week......I don't know what to do without them for that whole time! I have never been away from them that long......but I trust that they will have the time of their lives.....grateful they can still go! I will spend next week preparing for a new school year! Hanging with some friends and maybe doing a little blind dating, we shall see:) And then we reconvene next weekend for the start of a new school year......here we go yo lol:) We got this! :)