BOOM! .......

Forged in fire...........Forge is a funny word.....can mean something that is fake.....or it can mean something that has been heated in fire, to shape into something that you want it to be....by hammering and beating on it lol:) And sometimes that is how my journey has felt.....and I had a huge aha rabbit hole come and find me last night, that brought more clarity and understanding to my doorstep......in a way that helps me understand ALL of it better.....I have had a challenging life.....not the most challenging by a long shot......but challenging in its own right.....I am not sure anybody would dispute that......each decade of my life finding me facing one....sometimes two HUGE mountains to climb and overcome;-) And like big stuff.....not tiny matters......and each time I have.....and I guess last night, what I was led to understand is that each one of those trials and tribulations was forging me.....shaping me.....molding me.....all of it for THIS chapter:).....I truly believe that.....I needed to face all of those things....and not get lost in them......or broken in them, but find the place within me that was willing to overcome them, and heal and learn the lesson it was showing me, and accept the change it was offering to me.....accepting and embracing the lessons, one by one, and move beyond them all in a different way.....each of those mountains changing a part of me.......one that needed changing or alchemizing! And it is funny, or not depending on how you view it;-) but directly after this came to me, this "forging" understanding, I was hit with a video that was about forging, in my mind a confirmation;-)......and I have not done everything perfectly......not by a long shot, and am far from fully evolved lol;-) but what I have done is bravely faced what has come to find me, and used it to make me better, not letting it destroy me, letting evolution take hold.....and well that is something:) And so there is a piece I see I need to work on, in terms of self worth and some business things that I am planning on tackling next.....so much self worth work finding me in this last year;-).....to ensure that as I step into the next place, the story will run in a way it never has......and here is the thing....there is no failure, I have said it before, and have never been so sure of it as I am today.....there are lessons parading as failure.....relationships.....chances we take.....but EVERY bit of it......EVERY bit is here to shape and mold us......forge us if you will;-) And for me as I approach my 50th birthday, to think that ALL of those trials and lessons and hardships and pain and suffering found in the last 50 years was bringing me to right here.....to a place that FEELS like I am being called to use ALL of it in the next chapter and part of my life......a part of my life that will no longer hold cataclysmic lessons, I truly feel that.....but a part of my life that will finally hold the sovereignty that I have EARNED......I truly have earned every bit.....I do not say that arrogantly....I really don't.....I say it because I am the only one that KNOWS what I have endured to be right here, and how hard I have worked, and what I have been willing to face......and so now HERE I AM:)......ready to use ALL OF IT for the greater good......in a way that I haven't so far.....and well that feels exciting:) And I cannot explain how I KNOW but I just do.....THIS IS GO TIME......the place in my story when I go full force into taking ALL of it....the wisdom gained, the clarity found, the evolution, the stories that allow me to give immense compassion and empathy to another person, ALL OF IT.....and I finally USE it to its FULL capacity:):) And that feels so exciting! The quiet knowing in my soul leading the way......it is time.....I have been a faithful student to so much.....willing to learn......to change even when it was scary, to trust even when it was dark, to believe even when I could not see.......and now I understand, WHY.........why I had to endure all of it......I know that part of my journey has been a calling to heal other people........I feel that so completely......alchemizing my own wounds, to offer solace to other people that are hurting too......but I think what I was led to understand last night is that it is bigger than that.....it feels like I am standing on the threshold of a whole new life again......and I cannot explain how I know that, or why I understand it, but I just do......so this morning has me trusting the way.....and appreciating all I have walked through.....to be right here:) on the cusp of a new life......integrating all of the lessons and serving others so fully. The other piece I so fully understood is that I lived in survival mode for a long time, and the contrast of not living in it anymore is a huge. So here I am, ready, willing......and with more clarity than ever in tow......trusting that THE WAY will continue to appear:) I am just getting started indeed! A graduation of sorts if you will;-) Happy Monday! Enjoy the day!