Wait........WHAT??????.........

I am a fairly logical human......all rational and stuff ;-)........not subject to dramatics....often;-) steady and calm most of the time.....and one piece of logic that has absolutely mystified me......and taken me nearly all of this half of a century to learn.....is the fact that you cannot MAKE somebody see your value.......no matter how valuable you are.....and I have had a lot of trouble in this life really understanding that......thinking if I "turned up" my value when I was feeling under appreciated and valued.... then......according to logic it should work right???? MORE present.....MORE helpful......MORE supportive.......MORE understanding.........MORE______________________you get the idea;-) and well......the truth is you can't give somebody more of what they already don't appreciate, and expect them to appreciate it, I mean duh?;-) It sounds so silly as I express it now......like this last evolution in my psyche making THIS so obvious......and deeply resonating......and if I am honest, it is sorta making me feel icky a little this morning, that I even allowed anybody......ever....... to make me feel as if I had to perform, and compete, or vie for their attention and love....when my value has been here ALL along:) Like Dorothy....in the Wizard of Oz......it was within YOU darlin all of the time:) That is how I feel now......so fully.....clear on my value as a human......as a mom.....as a woman......a friend, amid all the roles I live out.......and just because I have been shown places where that was mishandled and abused.......doesn't make that less so.......and as it stands now......in this new space I have wandered into again.....I would never EVER.......try to make somebody see my value again......that sounds absurd again as I type that......but..........it is kind of hard for me to believe this morning that I ever did that.....like when you evolve past a place, you can't believe what you were capable of before.....that is how it feels anyway..... and there are not enough good deeds.......or genuine affection, and adoration.........acts of service, or kindness......or selflessness, that can be given to a person that will take and take, and exploit and use ALL of it.......and take all of it for granted.......those are FACTS......and so the reason Mel Robbins resonates with her banner "Let THEM" is because it is rampant.......lots of people taking from givers out there......and your energy, and power resides in resonating in your worth.....sitting back in your energy.......standing peacefully in your worth, knowing that the right people will value it, and appreciate it, instantly.....like those great friends that cannot imagine life without you, and well the feeling is mutual:) I think now as I expressed all of that...... I always viewed love as a commercial or something.....like I had to prove myself to be loved, and continue proving myself to be loved......and truthfully it kept me in relationships that likely would have ended so much sooner if that were not so......if I didn't have such endurance, and such a high tolerance for suffering.....that is the sad truth.....decades and years of my life being swallowed up in wasted spaces......and I say that in one sense, but you know I believe it all leads you to RIGHT WHERE you belong.......so now I get it so completely....anybody I attract in this life will know and feel my value......no convincing, no working harder while they do nothing.......no proving......no nothing......just Jenn......showing up as Jenn.......being loved fiercely, and appreciated fully for being her.......so simple really.....and my self worth, and my understanding of it, finally, has been EARNED in this life......I have paid dearly for it, in so many ways......but I arrived:) And it is my mission every day to have my own girl never walk in places that do not honor her worth......ever.......and by being an example to her of what that looks like, that makes that more likely! She is well on her way:) She already comments and sees how well I care for myself, working out etc......and that is all part of it......and in my last situation she began to see that I was starting to not be treated well.....and it bothered her, because she had really come around and liked him a lot at one point....her disappointment finding her as it began to find me too..........and she has since said expressed that......on her own.....randomly.......that seeing me walk away, and not allow myself to be treated poorly, impressed her:) And well......after all I have endured, that feels like everything......I showed her that I believe my value is worth more than my feelings......and that THAT is what you choose, EVERY TIME, amen:) She was one of my biggest reasons for gaining the strength to honor my worth indeed! She deserves that so fully and so do I! :)Each time this newfound awareness finds me it settles in more deeply! Resonating loud and clear! Happy Thursday y'all, enjoy the day:) xoxo