It will be my first time!

So I think as we get older, getting to do things that are our "firsts" is kind of a fun thing......maybe becoming more important than ever, and experiencing the world in a new way......and we all get into our comfort zones in our older age, and being intentional about trying new things, or having new experiences is everything I think:) And I have long loved getting a massage.....a simple but yet such a profound pleasure......and my Taurus is drawn to beautiful things, luxurious things, cozy things.....ruled by Venus, and all of its treasures, and there is a sensuality that is found in being a Taurus......it is one of my love languages, and I am a sensual person, no apologies about that:) and so much of it not having to do with physical intimacy at all......and once upon a time I used to go for a massage through my chiropractic office, pretty regularly, and it was amazing......the regularity of it, having such a therapeutic benefit.....but back then I was also having so many physical ailments due to stress, that it was almost necessary, truly.....and I was a regular, my insurance covering it then, and I had become friends with the doctor there, and she would always ask for my feedback on her new therapists, and how the massage was:) I guess I was sorta an expert at one point lol:)..... and I would give her a nay or a meh lol:) There is a certain way I prefer to be massaged......I feel like it should be a fluid experience.......not choppy and abrupt.....I also tend to like deeper tissue massage, over the surface level kind.....and I for sure need to have my back and front massaged, or it feels incomplete in a way that my nervous system doesn't enjoy lol;-) but up until this point, I have only had female massage therapists.......and tomorrow I am trying out a new place, my friend recommended.....and it will be the first massage I have have had from a male massage therapist!......so it will be a first....... He is also a Chinese medicine practitioner.....so he has studied Chinese medicine.....I have long been fascinated by the power found in Chinese medicine, and have received Acupuncture quite a bit too, and know some about it......but never as it pertains to massage......so I am curious how I will experience all of it......I haven't been against having a male do my massage, it just has happened to be that I have always come across female ones.....and it has been on my mind to schedule one for a LONG time.....embarrassingly LONG lol:) And with the intensity that I workout, I should go more, and I plan on doing that.......especially as I turned up the notch this week in all the ways.......as I sit here this morning I can feel every muscle I worked to its limit this week.......so I am looking forward to giving my muscles some loving tomorrow.......And it is also in the self care, self love pile.......it is easy to not to take the time to do the things we know help us......especially when our resources are needed in so many other places......but in this case it is about a mindful tradeoff, knowing that I spend the equivalent of what I will spend on this massage in lots of ways, often....and sometimes in ways that do not serve me nearly as well;-) So I feel really good about choosing to give to myself in this way......And I am wildly curious about what the different will be in gender.......a nerdy girl experiment if you will lol:) And here is another piece......I have spoken about this journey, and the emotional piece for me, in being single, and being starved of touch........truly......and again I am not speaking about it in terms of just physical intimacy.......just as a human., and human touch.....I hug people often, and my children, but that is it.......and I have come to learn that it is a primary need as a human being, as important as water, food, and oxygen......and so getting a massage might be a good way for me to fill that need some? Maybe more regularly, I hadn't thought of that before? My nervous system needing that feedback in a real sense.....I feel like exercise does the same thing for me too......so whether the massage therapist is male or female, it bears no difference......it is just the human part of touch that matters......and so for sure it is something for me to take a look at......there is some sadness in me, as this decade of my life is winding down, at the amount of time I have spent on my own, and void of all of that.......especially during such a vibrant time of my life......and grief lives there.......but as with so many things.....acceptance is the way......I was called to spend this time of my life, the way it has been.....and I trust it all implicitly.......despite the ache in my heart some......and fulfilling my own needs, and learning to do that, has been a part of this part of the journey too, learning how to do that in the best way for me.......so many layers for sure! But this morning finds me looking forward to finally saying yes to a massage! And having a new experience! I will share his info, if it turns out to be a good one:) Happy Friday, we made it:) xoxox