Projection much!

The journey of becoming more self aware has been an eye opening and exciting one....the thirst for learning all I can about myself, and others is important to me now.....I believe when we become more aware of our own patterns and those of others we can navigate our lives better.....ride the highs and lows with more clarity in tow.....and it is deep work, and really sometimes painful....and I think the time I spend writing, meditating, and working out helps me hear myself better....and yesterday while working out I had a powerful aha moment....realizing that the pain I have felt at realizing that I wasn't as important to a person as I thought I was in the past.....was a projection of the importance that I placed on them.....feeling like they were important in my life, and drawing the line that I must be important to them too....and well....that just isn't true....the importance we hold for people doesn't always have it returned....and I know it may seem like a dumb realization, or small even, if you are reading....but for me it was BIG....and just another place to remain conscious and awake.....not asleep at the wheel....and being more conscious in my relationships, whether they be friendships or romantic ones....being clear on the space I hold in another's life.....no longer fooling myself....letting a person's actions show me, not their words....and realizing that many times I broke my own heart by telling myself something about another person that just wasn't true......and I have touched on this before....the fact that I do really believe I am unusually loyal......most folks don't offer up that kind of spirit to all of their people, but I really try to......when I love a person, in friendship or otherwise, I go all in and have their back fiercely.....and normally for life, unless they prove otherwise.....and I have rarely gotten that returned to me, and have been so blessed when I have....and when that realization hit me, that it wasn't so much my being duped all those times, that it was a psychological place in me, just me projecting my desire for the same onto them.....a place that was mirroring how I was holding them in my life.....believing subconsciously that it must be the same....and well.....it just wasn't.......and it was a subtle shift and understanding but a powerful one.....so now that I am more aware of that within me, and the source of it, I can remain conscious of it, in the hopes that it doesn't happen again.....ever....learning to better understand the place I hold in people's lives......and seeking to have people in my life that match my energy that way....and I am so blessed in that department, truly.....I have some really amazing friends, and some amazing family....so I guess the point of today's blog is just to listen.....really listen to yourself, your patterns, the things that keep you stuck.....or repeating the same pattern to death....and the effort it takes to undo that stuff is the effort it will take to set you FREE:) It really will.....and that hit me so hard yesterday....and well when you know better, you do better :) Have a great day:)