Mean girl energy.......

Being a female is tough in lots of ways.....I could likely write a whole blog about it lol:) But one of the toughest things is combatting "mean girls"......or more importantly "mean girl energy".......because the truth is most girls, or women that run around spreading mean girl energy, aren't mean at all......they are insecure......they feel powerless.......they are scared.......they are sad.......they feel____________so many things, and the way to regain their power is to make another person feel small, or icky.......I tell me daughter every day that how people behave is a reflection of how they feel on the inside.....shone into the world, and to never sink down into it......to maintain her own vibe, and rise above it, and find people that vibe like she does :)A lesson that took me far too long to learn......I have never run in traditional circles......in my elementary years I was nerdy....in the gifted program, and hung with my nerdy friends.....we had such fun, but I still sometimes felt like I was on the fringe....... we had a group that rode bikes endlessly, played imaginary games in the woods, and did sleepovers often.....and it was a magical time for most of it.....but I encountered mean spirited stuff too.....and wondered how it could be like that.....like why??I still remember a time when one of my childhood friends, a friend that I am deeply connected to now, wrote her list of friends in front of me, and did not include me on the list, intentionally......and it made me super sad, I was in third grade, it was a tough year socially for me.....and she still apologizes for that now lol:) And knows the psychology behind why she behaved that way......and the demons she was battling that we all didn't now, and then middle school hit, and I got tall and the boys started to take notice, and things sort of shifted.....but I still spent some time finding my way, struggling to find belonging.....and then I found a group of friends, all older, that sort of walked the fringe too.....they were in bands.....alternatively inclined if you will......and I felt accepted, and seen.....all of us feeling safe to show our unique stuff.....and then by college I had already partied so fully, and done the social scene a lot.....and so sorority life was not calling to me, in fact it turned me off some, because it seemed inauthentic in a way I had trouble articulating, I am not saying that is how it is everywhere, but at my college it seemed some kinda way......and so I became so close with my roommates, deep friendship running between us, and we had such a lovely 4 years, and I stayed connected to my home friends.....and everywhere I have been in my life my friends have been from all walks and all groups, not just one group, and when I raised Gabe, I was on the fringe too, no soccer mom club......a unique mom friend walk then too, and as I sit down this morning, the realization is even more stark.....I have always gravitated to people that are not in the center of the stuff, not the ultra cool, not being interested of finding myself there.....seeking REAL my whole life.....real and deep connections between people.....and I have had friends that have run in other circles too, always being able to adapt and relate too to all sorts of people....but steering clear as much as I can from mean girl stuff.....and doing my best to not be one.....and the thing is, it isn't easy to do always, if you want to hang with people.....gossip fuels a lot of people's days........and not many people want to deep talk lol:) So sometimes you are asked to go with the flow.....try not to do too much damage....stay abreast on the daily tea......but not say too much, and steer clear of the mean spirited folks......that really need a hug......I believe that, they need a place to not be so tough....that is true.....so I say all of this to say that my vision for my workshops is a mean girl free zone:) A place for girls to breathe....without that external pressure that runs around them all of the time.....it is relentless.......and everywhere.....and why are we wired like that?? It is so curious.....we have so much to offer the world.....and talk about, not about what Jane is up to today lol:) So I guess as I have traveled a little bit of a non traditional road, I plan on flipping the script some on all of that......going from mean girl culture to I Got YOU GIRL culture:):)......simple really.....girls feeling safe to have each other's back, to shut down conversations that are behind their friend's backs, speaking up for their friends, not allowing that kind of energy in their space......but most of all learning that there is much better stuff to talk about, and dream about, than talking about other people........the ideas keep coming, and I am so excited to get started! So my dream is to see a day where girls lift each other up with abandon......every girl feeling a sense of belonging.....her gifts celebrated while she celebrates another's gifts......because girls are much stronger together and when we lift each other up! Happy Monday! xoxo