Yesterday.......post dumpster day.....the kids still with their dad, I decided to finish a task I had left from the previous day.....in the basement while cleaning it out, I had put 6 bins of paperwork and cards and pictures to be sorted through at a later time. Turns out that time was Sunday morning......so I brought my coffee down there......turned on the music and went to the work of wandering down memory lane......lots of stops were made.....I kept so many cards.......so many.....for nearly every occasion both big or small in my life......I am a sucker for words;-) LOL So I got rid of so many of them.....keeping some......ones from people that have passed away......or important folks in my life now......but most of them went into the dumpster......went through so many pictures......so many pictures......again keeping some but most got dumped.......lots of wedding stuff had to go......stuff that was early he and I......I got rid of that too.....and as I sat in the memories of our life.........alone.......I felt like I knew that it was my last visit in some of these spaces......the last time I was going to experience it......spend some time with it in this life, and that now it was time to let it go......and it was......and it felt OK.......my emotions were steady.....understanding that this needed to be done......and that the only way to the other side is through......some of the memories made me smile some......some made me sad.......some made me remember special times in my life that I had forgotten......some made me remember stupid choices I had made...LOL. and some just left me with fondness in my heart......but it was growth......because I have lugged these bins around for years......holding onto all of it....albeit in the basement.....and thinking I needed to keep it all......for what??? I don't......so I thinned the six bins to two......and kept the memorabilia I felt I needed to......even made a bin for him of stuff I found he may want......and then I let go of the rest.......and each time I climbed the stairs from the basement to the dumpster and dumped a load.......a part of my soul got freer.....lighter.......more open to what is next.......and I was grateful for the time on my own to focus on what needed to be wandered through and then released......I am a sentimental chick.....no doubt.....and I do tend to keep memory stuff in my life.....and now it makes me wonder, if I will be keeping less.....letting it all go......no longer feeling the need to hold on.....to throw those things in a bin? I guess maybe I will be more discerning, moving forward with what takes up space in my life......what gets carried with me during my second act........that goes for people......cards......pictures......all of it......mindful of what stays.....and what has to go each and every day........
jperuso
Comments