This hit me hard.......

Sometimes something is said........or something is read......or heard..... and it hits the nail on the head........and hits you somewhere that brings such clarity......and that is one of the things I loved about my first women's series, there was lots of that.......so last night somebody shared a Tik Tok video of all things ;-) and it was discussing why some women "glow up" after divorce......and she said there are three different types of men.......the first kind expects his wife to be solely responsible for all the domestic and emotional responsibilities, raising kids, household, etc......and he provides financially......the second type of man will "help" his wife with some of the domestic chores, or in raising his children, but it comes at a price......the price of physical repayment, or some other favor for doing so......and the third type of man chooses to help his wife separate of their relationship, and does so out of the goodness of his heart.....offering support and love to his wife every day in all parts of their lives......a true partnership.......she then said the women that "glow up" after their marriages end were married to either of the first two kind of men.....and women that are married to the third "glow up" inside of their marriage because there is room to do that:) ......and she nailed it......like one hundred percent.......we see lots of women looking and feeling better post divorce.....after the pain part subsides......and I believe that this is a big part of the reason.....and it really was so profound to think of......I am not going to say which of the two I was married to, but I most definitely was in one of the first two categories, not the third......and the third is what I seek in this life.......no question.......and I know that the first two happen ALL of the time......to so many women......I am sure if I took a poll it would be staggering.....and I am curious as to the why......because I am certain that all or even most men don't consciously want to tax their wife and deplete her?????.......or take advantage of her in the ways that they do????....expecting her to do all of the things and still be an amazing wife too.....but gender roles are strong in our society, so is the notion that the lion's share should fall squarely on the wife's shoulders, and she is strong enough and able bodied enough to do it all.....and with a smile on her face too..... And in listening to that video it is absurd......absurd to think that somebody should take on all of that with minimal assistance from the person she is married to, the person she has created a family with..... and still have a healthy and happy life, and relationship......absurd......marriage most definitely should be a partnership......where help and support is offered in all parts of it with a glad heart on both person's account......it was pretty powerful and hear more clearly why I feel the way I do now......even though I had articulated some of the reasons myself as to why I feel happier, lighter, and younger now.....but to hear it put so plainly and clearly hit me hard indeed........I now seek the third kind all the way:)