25 pounds.....

The idea to write about this visited me the other day......A co worker that I have worked with for a long time was talking about losing weight with another friend from work.....and I walked up on the conversation as we were dismissing the kids.....and the person looked at me and said "yea and you lost so much weight you look so great".....and her emphasis was on so lol:) And I did not take offense to it, it was meant to be a compliment for sure:) But the reality of it all hit me.....it was only 25 pounds total.....still.....and not that 25 pounds of weight loss isn't noticeable or healthier or any of it.....but 25 pounds changed my life....and that isn't a ton of weight in the grand scheme......going from a size 10 to a size 4/6, and it was 25 pounds that wouldn't budge in the end of my marriage....no matter what.....hell 10 pounds wouldn't even go.....my mind was a dumpster fire.....I could not shake the cortisol that was raging through my body due to the most immense stress......the cortisol that was having that weight cling to me for dear life.......and I felt awful.....trying to help myself......and failing....trying to get the support of my ex husband to no avail.....and I could even see his disdain at the way I looked at the end, could see it in his eyes when he looked at me and now I know why.....and it was so tough.....and I began to see myself through his eyes.....a woman aging....feeling self conscious in her skin.....wondering why her normal tactics to lose a few pounds were not working......feeling unworthy, and the list goes on and on......and I began to not recognize myself.......and now I understand why I looked, and felt terrible those last few months......and I did not realize it then......and then he was gone.....and in the first week 10 pounds came off.....however I was barely eating.....I ate very little for awhile.......and then another 15 came off in a short amount of time.....and then I began running and taking care of myself.......and I have remained the same weight for 4 1/2 years with very little fluctuation....a pound here and there.....amazing right?? First time in my whole life my weight has been so stable.......but really it was only 25 pounds that changed my life.....the exercises I have done changing my body composition......making it appear like it was SOOOO much weight lol:) What people are noticing is more of a reflection of the inner work I have done....to feel better in my soul too:) That tends to shine through your face:) I have people comment often about all of the weight I have lost....and again 25 pounds:) And that weight represented so much to me now.....it was the weight I was carrying......literally....like I had it over my head......and it was the weight that represented the stress and sadness that lived inside of me......the absolute desperation to repair and patch a sinking ship......and all of it wasn't true.....because here I am......those pounds gone....stayed gone.....and as soon as I got my mind right the rest followed......when you are living under immense stress, it is so hard to lose weight......I not only lost 25 pounds......I lose ocular migraines.....and lifelong grinding of my teeth, and a need to wear a night guard.....none of those things are a part of my story anymore:) Stress is a killer.....and the intentional pursuit of lessening it matters in every way:) 25 pounds and the shedding of it.....changed my life in so many ways....powerful ones.....ones that I have immense gratitude for:) Happy Saturday:)