A giant shove......

When you think of the idea of a shove.......it is abrupt, maybe aggressive some.....but I think more than any of that, it is something that is noticed, clearly.......and I am feeling that again....a cosmic shove has arrived to move me beyond some places that I needed to be moved from.....places that were keeping me stuck some....older patterns arriving some....and it is so clear, like crystal clear to me this morning....and it is the energy that is out there right now, so I am certain you might be feeling it too? Something ending within you or around you and something new emerging.....and likely if you are hanging on too tightly it might be getting uncomfortable......I sometimes think about that with my ex....there was likely energy coming to find me back then, that was begging me to let go.....to be the one to walk away, based on so much of the stuff that was happening....and I was clinging to the notion that I could save our marriage singlehandedly.....and well.....that is not the case.....but I have learned now in this chapter, when to let go......long before it gets even more complicated.....and when the energy shows up as frenzy.....and so it feels good to be releasing the old, and readying for the new, at the right time.....but this last week has found me having a complete shift in my understanding of some things....and my point of view, and so much of so much, epiphany laden if you will;-).......like I took a quantum leap of understanding.....shedding another giant piece of "old Jenn" in one cosmic sweep......it might sound hokey....and I get it:) But it could not feel more real to me.....there has been a big shift, and I am doing the hard work to move me to where I need to be....and the discipline I am finding in it has been helpful too.....and because I believe deeply that in addition to divinity, and God leading us, the cosmos is always supporting our path too.....and the consciousness I bring now to what I feel, really helps me see the lesson that is being presented to me, in a way I never did before....like what I was supposed to understand and "get" through the month of March, I really really have, it is very obvious to me, not subtle.....because sometimes we can see clearly for another person, and struggle to see our own stuff.....making up a story that fits our narrative....so.....that veil has lifted, and I truly feel like I am seeing it all so clearly.....for the first time....and that feels good....and it is allowing me to let go in peace, and leave it where it was....and I cringe when I think of how much suffering I did, when I hung onto my ex and my marriage.....like just endless pain and suffering on repeat.....the harder I tried, and the tighter I held, the worse it got.....and maybe that is it....you can't do all the work......or do the work for another in a partnership....it has to be equitable.....and the same spirit must be present.....and that is what we deserve....my newfound self worth tells me that:) I am worth the effort I put in.....I am worth somebody trying as hard as I am, I am worth somebody meeting me in the space I meet them....I get that now, and I touched down in some of that at one point....but the writing on the wall was beginning to be present.....and well the cosmic cue card was clear....exit stage left Jenn.........;-) and there is a feeling of pride that lives in me this morning....I am not sure I have explained it exactly how I feel it in this entry, but if you knew how far I have come in what I have come to understand about myself, and my patterns, and the effort I have exerted in breaking free of chains I have had wrapped around me for a long time, well you would be proud of me too:) We are not trees........we have the power to move when it is time........ Happy Monday:)