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jperuso

A second date!

I am still marveling that my first date with my new friend is turning into a second this weekend......and if you have been reading for awhile, I have written many times about how complicated online dating is, and how little I enjoy it;-) Feeling like I was not designed for modern dating......old fashioned at heart, wanting to meet people organically and feel their energy and go from there.......And if I am honest have only been half heartedly doing it....knowing that when the time came for my dating chapter to begin it would.....and it has....and so far so good.....we have really hit it off, and have a lot of shared stuff that makes it fun and easy....and I am just sitting back and letting it all unfold.....we have plans to get together this weekend again, and I am looking forward to it.....dating in mid life is like dating the FBI lol:) All of us have been through some stuff.....we are tired of nonsense....and will put up with nothing that we don't have to......or I should say that is all true if it is a single human that has found the gold in their single life......not coming from a place of need......or having some unrealistic expectations guide them.....like needing it to all end in a perfect marriage, or another shot at it all......a person that has made peace with their single life, and has wrapped their arms around it, and fully embraced it....and he and I definitely have, and that gives you the freedom to explore what comes with ease and not desperation......and this situation has made me realize that I was right about the other dates I had, only a couple, and not having them turn into anything more.......trusting my instincts and realizing that while they were pleasant and fine, they just were not for me.....and I think when you have been burned as deeply as I have been, over and over, it would make somebody think I have a harder time trusting myself and my judgement......but while there is a voice sometimes that speaks to that inside of me, it actually feels like quite the opposite has happened......I feel like my intuitive skills are sharpened.....and my judgement has been honed.....looking for actions and words aligning.....that is my north star.....and so far that is exactly what is happening.....and I will continue to watch for that......and trust my gut......that guides me in all of it now, and I know I can trust it all......we have been crafting a bucket list of cool stuff we want to do because we can see a friendship forming too no matter what......and that has been fun too......and for me all of this feels like I am starting over in my life.....like back to being a teenager......the days of holding hands and first kisses and all of it.....enough time has gone on since any of that has been a a part of my life......nearly 3.5 years...........and that is exactly the speed I wanna move at.....I am most definitely not like the run of the mill single folk out there....and my new friend seems to understand that about me, and is patient, and has been patient about my process.....and I so appreciate that......I feel there is a safe space to be honest and heard, and feel like I am being treated like I am worth the wait! Because well I am....:) And now I realize I always have been....😊Happy Thursday!

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