An unexpected gift from my ex in time for Christmas! ......

I had an epiphany of sorts yesterday.... sharing my sentiment in last night's video.....the thing is when a dynamic or relationship shatters, old habits die hard....and for me having my ex walk out of the door, and then become completely unavailable to me in every single way was disorienting initially to say the least....but instead of having the intended effect from his point of view, the effect of that level of cutting off produced a unintended gift to my life......I have written before about always being fiercely independent....even in my old life.......knowing for as long as I can remember, that I could rely on myself, and my strength when the rubber hits the road....and I was definitely like that in my marriage too .....I was happy and more comfortable relying more heavily on myself than on him....which I admit was probably not always the best thing for our marriage, but it served me well when he left for sure........however there was one area that I relied heavily on him for, and that was the "man" stuff.....everything geared toward man duties, or things needing to be fixed, he was the guy.....he could fix or figure anything out....and it was so helpful.....and having that part stripped away is a place that still challenges me at times, and forces my growth every time it arises.....I remember early on my heat and furnace going out, and panicking a little, and texting him, and him ignoring me, his girlfriend thinking it was a ploy to get him to come here and thinking I would try to get him back.....it was no such thing....we went without heat that night, and I needed to call a technician......I luckily had electric heaters that kept us toasty warm......and the kids were impressed.......because they even expressed that night wanting their dad to come and solve it......and it was in that moment that I began learning to figure it out....and I did that night and continue to do my best each time.....and with each test my willingness to try has grown....I have learned to mow, to blow, and weed wack....and remove the snow...and so much more..... I wrote about the garage door yesterday, and reaching out to him...human to human......offering an opportunity for us to grow together and change the narrative some after nearly three years......and his ignoring my question made my intent impossible, and the result of that was my finding the solution myself.....I fixed the door myself yesterday by way of Google...........so his cutting me off, allowing for more growth, and more ways to build my self confidence....and it has occurred to me more than once that his treatment of me has been more of a blessing than burden....showing me parts of myself I may not have discovered otherwise....allowing me to "get over" him more quickly, my heart healing faster........ by not having him treat me kindly in this story.....and finding my inner guy, even though it frustrates me deeply at times.....it is by far my least favorite part of this ride.....when something breaks, or requires that part of me it initially shuts me down...still....and I know it is a foolish, and a silly part of my psyche....but it is real in every sense....and honest every time......and I am planning on being much better at facing that part of me and overcoming it in 2024......I have mastered much of my "man duties" except for the fix it parts.....so that is next......and so I thank him for that.....truly....I don't say that sarcastically.....I mean it sincerely.........he inadvertently gave me a gift in his deciding to play it this way......forcing me to struggle initially, but then find my wings......and do it all on my own.......and yesterday as I found a way to fix my garage, and watched that door go up with my remote, that had previously not been working...... I was reminded of the gift he has given me, right in time for Christmas morning:) Some gifts don't find us wrapped in glitzy packages, or with bows and ribbons and beauty.....some gifts come wrapped in betrayal, in heartache, sadness and struggle.....but for me it is those gifts that seem to come bearing the biggest return....the unexpected ones, buried beneath the trials of our lives! So I thank him for all of the unintended gifts he has given me in the aftermath of his leaving, so many finding me in the past 3 years....and I appreciate every single one! Hope everybody enjoys this day! And I hope you find some unexpected gifts too! Merry Christmas y'all:)