The holiday found me on this strange journey of emotion and ghosts....and then yesterday midday the Christmas spirit found me:) I felt ready to rally and be present in it all......I painted some earlier in the morning and day and that helped, and the kids shoveled for their mama, which touched my heart:)......and then I went to my parent's house for dinner, and then to church to see my brother preach Christmas Eve service.....then home to put my kids to bed, and I got to Facetime my guy for awhile and share some holiday with him.....then to bed to wait for Santa to come......I am always grateful to pull off Christmas for my kids on my own.....one year we got adopted by a Secret Santa group and I will never forget that as long as I live, and the gift that was..... and so being able to do what I have done for my kids this year on my own feels good....my daughter always asking since her dad left if I will buy them gifts too like her dad does alongside Santa coming....and she never says it out of greed or entitlement but as a pondering....and some day she will know what her mom has done but for now I say I got you guys a few:) We are waiting for my parents to come this morning.....a tradition going way back into my childhood but one I loved.....my ex had a hard time understanding it......making my children wait till their grandparents could share in the magic.....he found it cruel and unusual and unnecessary, and it would cause tension.....but I stood my ground about it......because I was the one that FELT it as a kid....and it felt magnificent for them to be a part of it......and I miss them still to this day....so I know my kids will have that feeling too one day....and the waiting for a half an hour or so is not the worst thing......it also built anticipation:).......and adds to the magic:)....and the kids don't mind.......Gabe still believes in Santa which touches my heart......and Santa is alive and well for Mads too...so we wait this morning.....I made coffee.....lots of it.. it was short night lol:) I feel like my eyes closed and then opened.....Mads has been holding her own against some crud and was up coughing later last night which delayed Santa's arrival......But all is well....and ready to roll......I am going to use various plug in appliances to pull off breakfast sandwiches this morning;-).....and then dinner at my mom and dad's house.....then back to painting and readying my home tomorrow! Merry Christmas everybody, I hope wherever you are you find magic......I learned that again this year.....that is up to you to rally and shift mindsets and find magic no matter the rest:) Enjoy the day:)
jperuso
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