Anger.......

I have come to learn that anger may in fact be one of the most destructive things in this world.....hands down.....and anger, and the feeling of it is a cheap cover for a REAL emotion that lives underneath that anger......guilt, shame, embarrassment, deep hurt, self doubt, and the list goes on....and I am not writing this to say that we should never be angry....that is not an easy task, and anger will bubble, it is a part of the human condition.......but it is what we do when we feel it come that matters the most....the most anger I have ever felt was during my ex's affair.....while we were still married, in the aftermath of the discovery.....and at certain points along the way......just feeling so angry, and not knowing where to put it.....like trying to put a tupperware lid on a volcano....and I remember some of our conversations then becoming so heated, and my whole being being swallowed up by that anger. And then when he left......I didn't feel or see that anger as much.....I was able to touch the real emotion, which was the deep and excruciating hurt that was lying beneath.....my therapist saying that often to me....that is was a healthy thing that I was wading through the real emotion and not letting the anger consume me.....letting myself feel the real stuff that I was experiencing....now I would be lying if I said I didn't feel anger at certain points....I did.....BUT....it has not been the primary theme of my story, or the primary thing I felt along the way....and I think sometimes people wonder about that....or wonder why I haven't gotten angrier in the aftermath.....feeling the injustice of what was "done to me" for me.....but here is the thing....being able to resist the anger piece, and transmute it is the way through.....if you let anger swallow you whole the other person wins, and it will destroy you, that is true....because the anger becomes this insidious poison that lives in your life....and takes a deep toll on your health and your life......and who wants that?? Nobody....but people also don't want to be around angry people either.....people always spouting off.....or letting life jangle their feathers endlessly.....it sets people on their pins.....makes them feel unsafe.....makes their nervous system short circuit......makes them feel all of those things and more.....and living in the absence of anger now has been amazing.....and if I feel anger now, I know I have to check myself for what it is I am REALLY feeling....and try and connect to that....letting the anger go......because anger is not real......it really isn't......it is a trap for emotion.....the real emotion getting caught in there.....because anger is easier to feel.....it is easier to be hopping mad.....than really sad......or really humiliated.....or really_____________ and it covers it up so nicely.....but it never gets you closer to healing or working through the real stuff so you can move on.....and that is the sad part....and it wrecks your life and your relationships in the short term.......and I always feel for the folks I know that live in those angry cages......the ones of their own creation.....knowing they must just feel awful:( And feeling so sad for them....and the way to abolish anger is through love, light, consciousness, healing, hard work.....all of it:) I believe that.......and therapy.....the commitment to find so much peace, that anger doesn't have a place to live anymore......working on feeling good.....because anger is indeed poison.....not worth carrying around....people are who they are.....they will do the things they will.....and being angry at them about it is futile.....I believe that mostly people are trying the best they can, with the hand they have been dealt....and maybe grace is a better use of our energy, when we are able....using that energy to understand.....instead of judge and criticize....or see it through our lens....but we absolutely don't have to let another person's anger poison our lives either.....that I believe too....we can do those things from afar if the situation calls for it.......and if you are reading this and have some trouble with anger.....I hope you find a way to end that in your life....you deserve to feel happy....joyful.....laughy.....peaceful.....light:) Anger is heavy.....putting it down will change your life:) Happy Monday! Hope you have a great week! :) We are off to do some adventuring;-)