Another AHA moment.........

I wrote awhile back about letting my long distance relationship go in March....my intuition being pricked.....and my spidey sense telling me something was wrong......and then I had it confirmed months later, I was right so fully......making me feel a power in a way I haven't before.....learning and realizing how deeply I can trust myself now.....more than I had even thought......but it has been the healing in the aftermath of learning of betrayal that has really had me marveling.....it hit me the other day how truly accepting I am of all of it...so much so that I was trying to examine myself more deeply, and wondering if I was burying it?? Pushing away any of it? Not holding space for the grief? But none of that is the case.....I really am OK......healing and healed as I bounce along.......and what hit me yesterday was a huge epiphany.....in the end I was shown that who I was emotionally attached to, didn't exist......at least not the way that I had thought.......the man I saw and loved, wasn't there......logic telling me he could not have been based on all I have learned since......so there is no point to dwell in the grief of the mirage......and in the moment that hit me, it seemed so simple.......and matter of fact.....and as the evolution of my self worth, and soul has taken on a life of its own in the last 6 months, I have sort of jumped over it, if that makes sense? It is really hard to explain, or fully understand for me, if I am honest......but I don't feel I am wounded, certainly not as I was by my ex husband......but maybe not even at all.....my understanding it so completely now.....and realizing all I have about him, and myself, sort of insulated me from the profound impact it could have had on me, based on how close we once were, if that makes sense......and none of it deserves my energy.......truly.........and so as I have found a way to work through the mind game that it was initially for me, it feels good to be in this place.....also considering a year ago, I was meeting up with him, tripping the light fantastic, having so much fun.......what a difference a year makes huh?? Crazy really.....but when I think of him I don't think fondly any longer......his actions in our final chapter taking care of that.....and I am learning what a healthy thing that is.....the acceptance of what is...fully......and I suppose that knowing right away, this time, that all that happened didn't have to do with me at all......because that part will keep you stuck too.....but he is a walking mirage that is true......and not a lot of truth lives inside of him.....and really it just makes me feel sorry for him.....because as you remember my superpower is seeing the light in people.....what could be......if........having that superpower confirmed even in my readings....so yea.......it could have been different.....I SAW HIM underneath all of that other stuff......but that wasn't the version of him he was choosing......and now I see it so clearly and fully, that it has allowed me to leave it in the past in a way that I have never experienced.....and I have my growth to thank for that......the effort I have put into growing and that feels kinda amazing:) So it was a big AHA moment, one that I needed to have.....I love the beauty found in life and the human story......and it endlessly fascinates me....and I am just so grateful for the gift of growth, and new eras....and new beginnings, here we go:)