Compatibility and Chemistry.......

I have always been fascinated by this topic, perhaps it is the life coach in me....and this has been on my mind as of late some, partly due to myself and my new friend having both of these vibes beginning to emerge;-) and it has been fun to see the places step forward that we have shared interest, and a shared space of understanding......and well chemistry, is always fun:) but I am writing about it today as more than that.... it is a subject that has fascinated me endlessly....and more so in middle age and dating now......it is tough out there.....when you have reached my age, and you are back in the dating pool, you have been through some stuff no doubt, and you have a laundry list in tow....and your standards are high, which they should be, but we are all human too;-) At this stage most of us know who we are , who we want to be perhaps, and what we will deal with, and what we won't.....and in a digital age it even is more of a challenge.....you need to communicate electronically in a way that jives or it doesn't work either......I have messaged with a potential date, and immediately have known it is a no due to that......that we just don't speak the same electronic language.....I know it may sound weird but it is true.......and when you do, it is magic and huge:) So where does compatibility and chemistry come from??? Is it in our shared interests with another person??.....I tend to think that is part of it....the more you share in common there helps a great deal......how you show up in the world, or if you admire the way each other does....but I have also been shown on my journey when that part is too much too, and they are a male version of you, no chemistry, buddy vibes lol:) So even there there there needs to be balance.....Needing to be alike in the right ways, and different in the right ones too....Having enough in common to create bliss points, I call them, places where you have shared loves of stuff, and can share that with each other.....so does chemistry come from there? Not solely.....obviously there is absolutely a physical component....you both liking the way the other looks.....or acts....body language, and all of that......but that has nothing to do with looks either.....I dated a nice looking guy once earlier on, and felt nothing for him at all....and knew it would not grow.....and it wasn't because I did not think he was outwardly attractive.....it was just obvious for me I did not feel chemistry......and I guess chemistry intrigues me......because it is mysterious.....and I could not live without having that with a person I was with.....and I make no apologies about that:) It is one of life's magical gifts like love! I also think it absolutely cannot be the only thing either.....that is no good either......but for me it has to be present....life is too short for anything less;-) And I am not totally sure if chemistry can grow when it is not there right away.......I saw it on that show I had written about awhile back....Married at First Sight.....in some of the couples, the woman wasn't digging the guy at the altar, or feeling him and then she grew to be mad about him.....so I may be wrong about that........but I tend to think most of the time it needs to be present in the beginning......at least to some degree.....and part of me feels as if I manifested my new friend some.....the timing being very interesting to me....and the things about him that resonate with me so far......and my deciding to be ready to take a chance and have a date.... So it is early, way early and I am most definitely going slowly in this new world I am finding myself in.....eyes open, sword still over my shoulder ;-) but I am also remaining open to acknowledging the presence of both of the big C's....compatibility and chemistry, and pondering the mystery within....it is not easy to honor boundaries and protect oneself, and open yourself up some to the possibility......and it is a delicate dance....and I am remaining open, and aware of it all, and allowing myself to enjoy it as it all unfolds, knowing I have nothing to lose anymore in terms of this part of my life, only to gain:) I am OK no matter which way it all unfolds, and that is such a powerful spot to be in as I navigate my brave new world....and I also have to acknowledge my bravery in it too....I have been ACTIVELY avoiding this part of my life....and dating.....and only half heartedly giving it a go a few times.....and my agreeing to make a date, was an act of bravery for me to that part of me.....forcing myself to get out of my own way about it all, and force myself to grow........and I am proud of myself for doing just that! Happy Sunday:)