The energy out there this week is intense.....maybe if you are reading this you are feeling some of it too.....the intensity got me a few times and sucked me into it.....letting it lower my feelings and vibration......lots of old wounds, and stuff dredging up from the bottom....like a big ball of muck......and yesterday I was proud of myself.......I consciously removed myself from two places where the energy could have caused deep conflict, and unnecessary stuff. Choosing not to attempt to solve, or fix, or plead, or try to impart change......I simply shut my mouth and let it be......because the reality is if you are trying to speak your truth, or come from a conscious place, and the person listening isn't willing, or conscious enough to hear you, then it is futile.......and I won't get sucked into that, not anymore.....I will attempt to work through the things I can, in the places I feel I can, but I won't subject myself to hurt and suffering needlessly anymore......I just won't.......I have some relationships with some close people in my life, that are so challenging and they just get more and more so.....and it hurts my heart deeply, but people are who they are. And I know the hurt is not intentional......they are just themselves, but have been unwilling to change at all.....the same people they have always been......so no amount of words will change it......having done therapy for so long, and REAL work on myself, and trying to have it help me see the people around me.....and have better relationships with myself and others.........I see it so clearly.....but currently they are deeply stuck in their patterns......and ones that if they could see them, would help them realize so much.....but I am not sure there is a way to have that be......the defensive cycle too deep......so I will just love them, and not take it all personally, not let it hurt me like it has been, and let it be.....I have tried to share how I feel, and nothing changes, and it just causes more friction and divide......sometimes you need to make the choice to just love people right where they are, and not expect anything more......accept that they are who they are, and you are who you are, and sometimes the two are more different than you would like.......and yearning for something else can be futile.......in acceptance there is peace right:) And I am accepting this as it is.....I thought I could try to communicate, and do so in a way that would deepen those relationships......but nothing ever changes......so I need to just let it be.....the two biggest things that I think can move people is consciousness and willingness.....if you have both of those in tow you can move mountains.....being conscious of it all around us and not walking into traps is the better way.....and as I said I too have found myself there....both this week and in the past.....caught up in a conflict that is a waste of time and energy.....the energy better spent on nourishing myself so that I can rise above it......so yesterday I decided to step back from it all......remaining quiet, going to bed early and letting it all be.....we want all of the people in our lives.....the ones we love, and the ones that are close to us and that love us to understand us fully.....but sometimes, and I am finding most of the time that is not the case......and we need to accept that......however when willingness comes to the table....a willingness to hear, and be heard beautiful things can happen.....I have experienced that in my current relationship.....transcending the conflict to find a solution.....a real one.....not a fight to see who won or who was right......but REAL conflict resolution......for the first time in all my life....that is a beautiful thing when it can happen......but it takes two people that have done work on themselves to do that.......and so I know it is possible in all my relationships......but only if the other parties are willing.....and I always hope they will be and still do......but just not yet......but love is the answer always.....so I am breaking the cycle and leading with that.....Happy Friday! We made it, it was a doozy;-)
jperuso
תגובות