Deja Vu.......

Based on my experiences in love, dating, and relationships I could be a person that became bitter and closed off......maybe even jaded some.....and I say often that people have viewed my story as unlucky in love....but that really isn't true.....I have held onto magical places many times in my life, where love was in full bloom, doing its thing.....and in the other places, where I have experienced the contrast of that sparkly love.....I feel lucky to have experienced it at all, I know some folks that never get to:( And I have learned and evolved, so it was all for my greater good.....but I am having some deja vu at the moment.....last spring I had let go of my forever friend that I loved because I needed to in March, and gave some dating a try.....and had some great dates with a guy ,and then a very troubling experience, right around this time last year.....one that I had decided then, to not pick up and drag around with me...I left it there, and haven't looked back....not willing to add it to the tapestry of my life.....and then my relationship took hold in August, and was lovely and took me to March again.....where it ended.....and so a couple of weeks ago a random connection was made.....quite surprising and out of the blue....and I have been exploring it some....it is early in the process.....the get to know you one:) And I am proud of myself for being open to it for all sorts of reasons.....it is way easier for me to wall myself off......it really is....and I refuse to allow the things that have happened to me in my life prevent me from finding the things I seek.....I refuse.....that would be giving away all of my power.....and I just won't.........so I am remaining open......open to getting to know him more.......open to perhaps going on a date.....open to seeing what I see.....proceeding slowly, and with caution as I did last time, but then felt duped some....so this time my eyes are more wide open......feeling like timing will do its thing separate of us.....I have been doing a specific meditation for 40 or so days now......related to self love topics, and attracting healthy love patterns......and so perhaps??.......but the beautiful part of all of it for me is that I am never, and have never come from a place of need or desperation in this chapter.......I don't need to be with anybody....I just don't......and I am not desperate for it....and that feels powerful......I saw a meme that said it best, I know shocking right lol;-)

"Do I like to be single? Yes I do. Do I wish I were in a relationship? Absolutely. But here is the thing: I will stay single until I find someone whose presence is more valuable than my solitude, someone who truly appreciates me and respects me. Until I find that person, I'm perfectly happy with myself. My peace and self- worth are far too important to settle for anything less"

So yes, I am deeply Ok with whatever comes.....I have found a way to connect to everything and not attach to it in a way where its absence destroys me......things come and go I have found, and people do too......and usually the people you thought would be there forever, end up not being there anymore.....funny how that works.....So I feel open and willing to embark on dating again.....willing to get back out there, and not be bitter or closed off based on anything that has happened or not happened.......My intuition having been sharpened further this past year......more equipped to enter the jungle that is dating;-) Wish me luck! xoxo Enjoy the day:)