ESCAPE room=0....2.0=WON!

I expressed yesterday having a ton of betrayal and horror laid on my lap in a really shocking and surprising way the other night, and said I will not give it anymore air time.....but there is an important piece to express today.......My regard for him has been replaced with disgust and repulsion.......all of that washing over me for him, and suffocating any love, affection, or admiration I once felt for him.....having to reconcile that somebody I had so much love and regard for is a con man of sorts, for lack of a better term.....and well that isn't easy.....and I just feel sorry for whoever ends up with him.....there are so many reasons for my feeling that way......but most of all due to his being such a liar, in nearly every way, and that is so so sad........but what is important about expressing this piece is that I have been in a karmic escape room of sorts for all intents and purposes the last couple of months.....since that clarity visited me in March, and made me aware that I needed to walk away, and stick to my instincts, and it feels like I have been running a spiritual gauntlet......having the divine testing me.....like are you REALLY who you say you are?? Are you remaining true to what it is that you want? Are you doing the work to grab that life you speak of so often?? And of course the test being the call of my heart to a situation I no longer belonged in, having to resist my still being in love to do that work......not returning to that situation fully, and doing the work of letting go, now knowing I was being protected from it....and so it came to me that it was like an escape room.....and I spent these last months doing the work of FREEING myself from it......finally unlocking that FINAL lock and throwing the door open yesterday......just in time to close that door on this chapter for good, and walking away from something that is not aligned in ANY way with my future.....and breaking karmic patterns in myself that have been chasing me, and causing suffering my WHOLE life.....reappearing round and round......and THIS time.....with the way that I am handling all of it, the clarity that has arrived, and the strength that is here amid the shock and horror of it....and really being sorta traumatized again in the betrayal sense......that same feeling taking over my body, but on a smaller scale.....my summoning my mindset, and newfound strength that I have been building even more in the last few years, to not let it derail me AT ALL......to put it and him in their respective places......no longer a prisoner of the escape room......wandering around lost, and now there has been a level of freedom found in opening that door wide open and seeing the sun shining on the other side:) No longer a prisoner of cycling patterns.....things going round and round but never getting anywhere......finding the same man, just hiding in different forms, but once the mask comes down they are all the same......and my intuition strengthening to a place where I can fiercely trust it......knowing SO clearly now what I am seeking in love and going after it with abandon......holding out for THE ONE:) While also not feeling anxious or impatient in the waiting......knowing with such certainty that when the time is right, there HE will be.....and whether that is a couple of months from now.....or a couple of years from now, it is of no consequence....my self worth is NOT up for grabs any longer, or my peace......at all.......and the journey to arrive here has been arduous.....a 4.5 year walk to THIS woman.......a woman that would never entertain the man I was shown the other night.....not by a long shot.......never again......and now seeing him so clearly, however fully knowing that he was meant to be in my story too, completely.....and the gift of his presence in the beginning of our story will stay with me forever.....and whatever was real that existed between us.....but I am most definitely not carrying the rest with me.....he doesn't get to hand over his own baggage for me to carry on my way.....I envision myself taking the bag of darkness the realization of who he really was ......and leaving it on a train platform.....just putting that big bag down.....and then stepping on the train and moving along, leaving it all RIGHT here........I won't carry all of that into my next chapter.....what he did is on him not me, and as I said yesterday, the karma I carry is the purity of spirit, and light and love I shared with him so freely and generously, and his karma is his own, sharing some darkness and deception with me.......so this last piece, feels like the last lock you would unlock in an escape room challenge......the one that frees you in all of the best ways:) A cheer erupting as the timer winds down! I DID IT:) And there is a level of pride that has found me for my growth in this.....because the truth is, only I KNOW how hard this has all been, and the deep emotional work I have been brave enough to do to free myself of this kind of chain......and suffice to say it has been immense:) A new era is opening up for 2.0.......and there is a quiet certainty that lives within me that knows I will never find myself here again.....NEVER.......facing the disappointment of what another human is capable of doing to another one in the name of love.......love is a GIFT.....and when somebody shares it with you so generously, it is our obligation to treat it as such.....and appreciate it with all that we are. :)And something tells me that one day I will meet the man that shows me that he agrees:) So I am celebrating this morning, not mourning......celebrating my really getting out of my own way once and for all.....and escaping! YIPPEEEEEEE!!!!!:) His giving me the gift of being able to prove to myself that I am indeed who I say I am and who I want to be:) Happy Saturday y'all:)