Forgiveness......

This is a topic I have not written about in awhile.....and I am checking in on my pulse about it......my faith clearly tells me I am called to forgive......without apologies, or remorse even, just forgiveness in its purest form....and I believe that.....I do.....it isn't easy.....at all......and unless you have had somebody do something huge to you, something that is so damaging, beyond words damaging, you can't really understand what that ask is........ when the transgressions are big, and hurtful, and deep......it is a big task.......however as I am called to forgive those folks, that forgiveness holds gifts for me too.....forgiveness feels better than anger, bitterness, or rage right?? But I also think some people are just wired for forgiveness.....I have never held grudges against people, been the first to forgive, and often forget.....leaving what has been done in the past.......and sometimes it has gotten me taken advantage of....maybe even often.....and certainly has had some people learn to treat me poorly, because well, she will forgive it.......but at a certain point in my life I would have been left holding a boulder....if I didn't just let it go.....and the forgiveness was for my self preservation too.......and so now I find forgiveness, and my boundaries to maintain my peace being challenged.....and figuring out how that all fits together, what is the right thing to do.....and the cool thing is that healing comes....in bits and snippets.....and beyond our control......if we lay stuff down and let it be.....and trust the divine unfolding of it.....we can figure out a way.....just let things unfold as they should, and in their time.....forgiveness cannot be forced....it just can't.......I have learned that......it took me some time to forgive my ex....like really forgive.....and their are still wounds I work on, to find that for him, and for me......and I hold no bitterness and resentment, so I feel like that gives me time to work toward the forgiving part, and the rest of what I seek to heal.....but I have had other transgressions find me, that I need to work through to find the other side of......and as moments happen that help us, or hold space for that, we can step toward it....bit by bit.....step by step......moment by moment....knowing that forgiveness isn't one moment.....I don't believe that.....it comes in layers......and so I am trying to figure out how to navigate these other spaces.....and see what can be done to work through them......in a way that honors my peace, and my life now.....and so I welcome the piece that stepped forward, allowing for some headway.....and well......the rest will unfold in its own time too....not forcing it.....letting it flow.....taking the pieces as they come...and seeing where they lead.......Amen