I have a date!

Life is such a funny ride.....one that is a winding road......and as I have learned to let go and relax in this chapter, that surrender allows me to travel where I need to be.......or where I am led......and I am so fascinated by this latest twist.....I had written about my plan to speed date this Saturday.....finally pushing myself to get out there......I was pretty excited about it....just because of the interactive nature of it.....and because I am deeply tired of meeting anybody, or I should say not meeting anybody online most of the time, and not being able to really feel them.....so it seemed like at least a chance for that, and I trusted whatever came of it....and then it was cancelled.....and I was slightly disappointed, but my new default is trust that it wasn't my door:) Even though it felt that that day was significant for such things....and then I ended up connecting on the dating site this week with somebody quite randomly.....and just when I was about to deactivate my account and so was he.......and well we now have a date for Saturday.....the Universe is a trickster indeed lol:) And I am intrigued and looking forward to it.....I have written many times about my conflict in dating......a love hate relationship with it all.....I think being single, and seeking some companionship in middle age isn't for the faint of heart lol:) It is a strange thing.....so for me when a connection is made, that is rare, and actually making it to a date feels like finding a unicorn in the woods lol:) But I do feel like I am supposed to explore this connection some....and meeting up is a start.....and it feels like there is a level of comfort and ease in that already.....not feeling nervous about it.....and very much feeling as if my intuition is speaking to me to do that.....so he is going to come my way, and we are going to do something on Saturday! Dating and all the rest along this journey has been a strange push pull......having cultivated a life I love so deeply....and not being motivated to go looking for anybody with intimacy in mind......that is not my goal.....it is to actually to find a circumstance that nourishes my life in the ways I nourish my own life.....and I suppose I have had to challenge myself often....to keep getting out there.....keep being open.....keep myself moving toward those things......even if it is not easy, knowing that the pull to just close myself off to all of it is stronger, for so many reasons.....so for me it feels like growth......to not allow what has found me in the past to jade my perspective.....and to know that my person is out there.....and to be open to explore connection when it arrives....however this time around I am not the same woman I was a year ago.....ironically traveling on this weekend, last year, to be with a man that I was crazy about, and had deep trust in, only to be proven wrong....so the irony of having a date this weekend, as my new self is not lost on me either:) What a difference a year makes ;-) And it actually feels good.....having broken into another place of understanding and clarity.....so yea a date! To see what we see......stay tuned! ..........