IN love!

I am in love.........there I said it;-) And the truth is I have been for awhile, and I haven't wanted to admit it, or accept it, for all sorts of reasons......the transition from myself, and my kids, to this new place is a big one, for me and for them.....and I am not sure how my love story will evolve or play out......only time and circumstance will show us that.....I do know that up to this point it has been a hell of a story, and has had many twists and turns to find its way into existence....and mostly what it has shown me, is that you can never deny, or push away, what is meant to be a part of your experience, never......and that love finds a way....some how....some way....against all odds, all of it:).....and I know that sounds corny, I get it....sounds like something someone in love would say......insert eye roll lol;-) BUT.....it is true.....if my love story could have been willed away, run away from, and so much more it would have been....hands down.......and yet.....and the other piece is timing....it is everything....there were very specific things, and changes, that needed to occur to have this be as it is right now....and those things fell into place to allow for it all.....I am still feeling protective of it keeping it to myself some.....letting it unfold further, before putting it all out there.....us divorced folks should be that way methinks.....or maybe not, I don't know.....but I am following my instincts for now because you just never know how it all goes.....but my wanting to do that does not diminish my commitment to it all at the moment, and my willingness to follow the story where it leads......I know I have been hinting some in my blog about it for awhile...and have had some questions and wondering.....but it was time to say it out loud....and as I have said, I cannot wait to write a short story or a tiny book about it one day....the divine timing.....the tenacity of the story......the circumstance, the foundation....all of it.....it will make a lovely little story of hope methinks.....no matter how it ends......and really why I mention it today is to express the vast difference in myself I find this time around in love......when I have been in love before in my life, I have felt like I needed to attach to it, to its outcome, to its longevity, to all of it......and I feel none of that this time around......it has been shown to me that I need to explore this chapter with this man, and whether it lasts a year, or 10, or the rest of my life it is of no consequence to me.....I know now that attaching to outcomes is futile.....and a waste of energy....and that the best way to enjoy anything is to enjoy it in the present....not get too far ahead....not worry about it....or attach stipulations and conditions.....and I suppose the other powerful piece for me is knowing and realizing that I am also more than OK alone......and if I end up alone again fully, I will be more than OK then too:) Nothing will ever have the power to hurt me like hte end of my marriage did......and not because I won't open myself up fully.....but because I have learned how to be OK no matter what......and that is a powerful piece to have.......I don't NEED a person in my life.....to be happy, or otherwise.....and this has manifested in my life at this point without need in tow......it just is......the universal juju and divine timing making the pieces come together in a way that I could not have predicted and truthfully did not expect.....like Tetris........people change.....things change....and life lines up in its own time.....those are facts....and you cannot rush a single thing in your life......not if you want it to feel right....so.....this time around, everything is different......I am not attached to outcomes.....not worried about what if......not wondering about the outcome.......I am just here and present for the journey that has arrived.......and trusting that the way will appear.....and grateful, just so grateful for the gift of love:) Love is a gift, every time, no matter what! And this girl is grateful to have found it again, or maybe having had it find her;-) Depends on where you stand;-) Happy Monday xoxo