It is not you......truly.....

I have been having validations come and find me in terms of situations I have battled with having those I have loved turn on me.......and then the reason, or a situation comes to light that shows me the "why" to some degree, or lets me know it is their own internal struggle that found its way to my doorstep......and it is still hard to remember that in the moment....when somebody hurts us deeply.....or does something super shocking to us.....and we are left wondering so much.....and having the information that has found me find me, has been soothing some on all accounts.....and it is not gossip stuff, it is just the facts about something that I was not aware of before......and it always leads me to the part of me that believes the best in people.....leading with that, until they show me otherwise.....and I will never be able to change that part of me.....I wouldn't even try.....it is both the best part of me, but also the part that has burned me more than once.....but I would rather navigate the world seeing it the way I do, than live in skepticism or doubting everything and everybody....and do not misunderstand.....my discernment has grown......I also am much better at reading folks now.....despite being duped a couple of times......all the experiences have a place in my story......but what others do to us, especially the ugly stuff......has EVERYTHING TO DO WITH THEM........I cannot stress that enough.......people that are healthy and happy, don't do ugly and mean things to others.....they are fighting a battle we just don't know anything about.....and I have seen more beauty in this chapter of my life but also more ugliness than I ever have........and the contrast has been stark between the two.....and so the only thing to do is step over the hurt and insult, or the pain and move on.....leaving that person behind. We can only control how we show up.....and I have written of this many times before but it bears repeating....and the new information I got made it all the more relevant to speak of......so as I move ahead on my journey and take the information for what it is, helping me gain more insight, I rest easy....and I have had the experience too of the person realizing that they were not correct in their assessment, and come back around in clarity, more than once.....not to become the way it was, but to see things the way they were....and that feels good when that is able to happen....but really it doesn't matter or isn't necessary........we are all just living in our own truths, our own realities, and fighting our own battles, and it is always better to lead from a place that honors that in others......offering compassion and understanding......and none of this is to say we should not examine our own role in a situation......because we should completely.....but if something happens that is way off base, and uncalled for, those are the spaces I have found the above to be true.....and we can rest easy in the fact that it doesn't have anything to do with anything other than that person.....and when I see that kind of pain in a person, it hurts me for them too.....I don't think people seek to hurt others consciously......I really don't.....and when people do it is a symptom of so much more.....so as I realize this in my life now I am aware of this and accept that the people I seek in my life are the people that don't do those things.....the people that lead with love and light....and understanding and compassion.....and that who we surround ourselves with matters so deeply.....it really does........