It is still my road......

In the beginning of my divorce journey I was given a choice.....I was in blinding pain and suffering......wondering often, if I would make it.....the emotional pain taking my breath away.....and I was faced with the choice of how I was going to show up in this story.....was I choosing to take the high road, or sinking into the land of pettiness and ugliness....and as I sit here today choosing to take the high road......and not succumb to the storm at the time was the way.....and continues to be, and I have not done it perfectly......but I have done it from a place where I do not have regrets, nothing glaring at me with wishing I had chosen differently......I feel I have spoken up when I had to, without being nasty, sticking to facts......and remained quiet when it was best.....and tried my best to treat him the way that I would want to be treated by him.......and it is a part in coaching that is sometimes hard to impart to my clients......I often work with women that are jilted, angry, and looking for a place to put it all.....and when I say I get it, I GET IT......and sometimes they are feeling vindictive, or like they need to get back at them....and I get that too......but that is the most wasted place to put our energy....I know that so completely....it FEELS like you are doing something, but you are doing nothing......there is no point.....and I have seen anger and resentment swallow people whole......eating away at their essence.....and wreaking havoc on their lives and to their health.....so in that moment it isn't up to me to talk them out of their feelings.......which are valid by the way......but instead gently steer them more toward themselves.....and their healing.....their new chapter......their health and wellness......focusing on what you cannot change will keep you stuck......but turning inward and focusing on what can actually be changed is magic:) It is the secret sauce indeed;-) And I have been called over and over to do my best to take the high road.....when sometimes quite honestly I didn't want to......I wanted to give in to the ick that was calling to me.....to "let them have it"........to get it all out......and well sometimes, in certain cases, that is futile......and not because what you have to say is not wildly valid, because IT IS! But because it cannot be received on the other end.......and worse yet the person on the other end could inflict more pain and suffering as a result.......people know what they do.....they know what they did.......and likely the stuff they say to themselves in their quiet moments is worse than anything you could ever say.....I used to believe that I could articulate myself to understanding, if I just tried hard enough.......I don't believe that anymore......people can only HEAR from the depth in which they have heard themselves......and meet you that deeply or not.........I know I have some divorced folks that read, and are struggling with this piece....so today is for you, and the high road is not weak......you can text back OK....and live through it;-) and who it is most important for is our kids.....my kids respect the way I treat their dad......and they don't respect the way he treats me.....it is simple.....I had tried to share that with him earlier on, and it fell on deaf ears.....so I let it go.....it is his story to live in, not mine......and hurting our children to try and punish me, and follow rules, seems like the saddest thing I have ever heard......but as I said we can only SEE so much from wherever we are sitting......so just choose the high road......step over it....the muck and ick, and while we are here....I have gotten some flack for this blog over the years......implying that the existence of it, is in violation of doing the right thing, when it comes to my divorce etc.....like its existence negates the high road, and just so I am clear EVERY single word has been true......and as delicate and kind as I could make it, all things considered, protecting some of it, but beyond that......THIS has been my healing journey.....the players in my story chose their actions.....and the betrayals they inflicted, and the actions they have chosen and continue to, and I am within my right to do the things that have brought profound healing.....I did not ask to find myself in this story....but I most definitely am holding the pen in my healing era.....I have never been dishonest in this blog.....never....and never would be......only using it to make sense of the madness I have walked through to find magic:) I just wanted to make that clear this morning:)

I am so excited today, my business coach comes this morning after my kiddos head to school, and I have some things I want to work on, and I am also deeply fond of her.....we haven't known each other long but we have SO many similarities, and speak exactly the same language........ and well.....what is better than that! Enjoy the day, and remember the high road is your road......it feels better, I promise:) xoxo