My ache for my girl.....

A few months before I found out I was pregnant with a girl, I longed for a daughter......a longing that took me quite by surprise and one that was so strong....and if I had tried to order a daughter......outlining all the specs and characteristics.....I would have fallen short of creating all the pieces of who she is....she is an extraordinary person....I know I am bias;-) but many other people have echoed that sentiment, and much of it to do with just who she is....and how she came into this world, her factory settings....there are so many facets that make up my girl....she is kind....thoughtful.....smart....funny....creative....witty artistic.....she can write beautifully, and articulate herself so well....she is mechanically inclined.....she is a beautiful reader, she has common sense....an emotional intelligence and self awareness that I haven't seen in a child ever.....she is musical....silly.....and loves so fiercely......and her sense of others is so keen and spot on.....and watching her navigate making new friends in her new school has been a little challenging.....she is an old soul.....that is so true....in every way...and old fashioned in a way I love....her opting to sled most of break this past week versus be on her phone.....and I love all those things about her and more......but it sets her apart from many of today's kiddos....and I am watching her and hearing her verbalize that to me....she is missing that one friend, or those couple that feel like home....she had more of that at her old school.....they had known each other for so long, and the comfort level was high....and so that piece is challenging her.....she is fine and getting along with them, but she is watching girls talk about one another or say mean things, and telling me she doesn't want to have them as her friend....she is seeking loyalty and higher lined things in her friends, even at her young age.....and she is not perfect....she has her own things too....but there is a maturity in her that is hard to relate to at 9.......we chatted about it all last night....she tells me everything which I love, telling me I never make her feel judged...just heard.....and I want her to always feel that, that I am right there in her corner, and my heart was aching some.....I was up in the night....feeling the weight of it all....hoping, and trusting she will find her way, and her tribe.....and figure out the way......which I trust fully.....I really do.....but sometimes we want to save our kids from their journey too....protecting them from the painful parts....knowing that they need to just go through it all.....and I know that this is true for this too....so she is staying for her first play practice today, and I am excited for her:) Actually the part she has in the play, she would not have gotten, had she been in OM.....so I am happy for her....she had been so disappointed by not getting into OM...but I tried and encourage her and let her know that it just wasn't her door....and there was a reason....and perhaps this was it:) And my mama heart knows that girl stuff only grows more complicated as they grow....so I am steadying myself.....I am grateful that we have one another.....we are so similar and kindred....and understand each other in a way that I don't think both of us feel very often...and I feel like the powers that be made that fact intentional;-) We read together last night, and cozied up and chatted and her resilience is so so fierce and admirable....she is so strong about this challenge....willing to face it, and keep at it, problem solving it and finding her way....working to find more of her people....I am grateful for her relationships with our neighbor kiddos, they have great fun together....so I feel the mama ache, say a prayer.....love on my girl hard, and trust it will all work out, it always does....amen....