I have spent much of my life, being in love with men who I have created in my mind....creating a mirage if you will of the best stuff I see in them....and using my actions to bolster the situation, and make it better than it is...........and so as I travel along and get myself out there, and open myself up the possibilities......I am using words and actions to guide me.....what a person says to me.....and what they do need to match......period.......and I am no longer giving grace for anything less.....it has been an evolutionary process for me so to speak....getting better and better at it as I have traveled.....because it has been my Achilles.....I believe HARD in people....and stand right by them....and fill up the spaces that need to be filled, and trust they will find their way there too.....until they don't......and I am not doing that anymore.....I am not doing the heavy lifting.....not in a relationship, and not alone for the people in my life.....I am only interested in a person that matches my energy......and my effort.....no matter what.....no excuses about it, no nothing......or at least listens to what I need, and honors it, and acknowledges that it is valid, and tries to meet those needs........so this patient fella who has been waiting on me to be ready to date in the real world....sorta appeared again in my experience during a time that made more sense now......and I felt ready to give it a try, and go out some, and so far it seems to be aligning..... who he says he is and what he does.....and I am baby stepping my way through it all.....and I will be on top of my game and paying attention to that......people can pretend for sure.....but there are tells hidden in their real life.....and I don't say any of this to say I am skeptical in any way of this man, or this situation, or of anybody.....I have said before skepticism is not in my nature.....but I have learned some stuff....and am finally applying it all fully.....and life is a beautiful dance of learning, and experiencing, and doing better than you did before.....so I am going to trust what has stepped forward during this eclipse season....bringing change to my life, and propelling me to put my money where my mouth is and start dating....for real;-) so here we are.......he has also expressed that if we never progress fully into a relationship that he wants to remain friends, and hiking buddies! Did I mention he loves hiking like I do, yay! :) So it feels amazing to have nothing to lose;-) however chemistry is present already, so that is a good sign;-) and I am remaining open to the experience.....not overthinking it.....but keeping my newfound, hard earned wisdom, on hand......to keep me out of spaces not meant for me....:) And enjoying the ride! Pay attention to what arises for you during this eclipse.....and what it is bringing for you to look at...or what is leaving.....it matters! And see what may need to go....and what should stay:) Enjoy today and stay safe! :)
jperuso
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