Pep talkin.......

There are natural inclinations that lie in all of us.....some wonderful, and well some not so much.....and I am so clearly aware now of who I want to be, and how I want to show up in my life, that I try and keep myself in check with those inclinations.....embracing the ones that serve me, and letting go of those that don't....and sometimes we need to be the one to give ourself the pep talk.....to say it all aloud to remind us of what we are wanting and what we are not.....and as I type this my blog serves that purpose for myself and others....sometimes my message hits somebody and they reach out, and some days it is a message I need to remind myself of......and it bolsters my resolve to not fall back into old patterns that don't serve me.....what is it anyway about our old pattern stuff??? SO darn resistant to dying off right?? Just deep within the fabric of who we are, and not wanting to be gone....But I am determined to keep away the things I know do not work for my life any longer....and fight some of my old inclinations to craft a new story in every way......being fiercely committed to the life I want....knowing that it will cost me some of the old, and a willingness to let go of those things that don't serve me.....and I think there is a lot of value in giving ourselves the pep talks we need in our lives.....reminding ourselves of who we are and who we want to be.....as if we were speaking to one of our friends and offering up the same type of support.....and in the beginning of this journey I spoke aloud to myself often....pep talking myself often.....or in the mirror to try and bolster my courage.....especially in the early days of the court stuff....that was so hard....so I had to remind myself of my goals, my mission, and my strength and who I wanted to be in the story....that part was the hardest part.....facing him in our new weird space, and being in an adversarial role, it was so weird.....but now my pep talks are less and less, more internal....and most are on default.....but I sometimes marvel at the effort it requires to rewire ourselves.....to fight those old parts, and lay them to rest. And I have come so far with some of those spaces in me.....but I still have a ways to go......but it is in the pep talkin where clarity arrives......looking myself in the eyes and reminding myself of truth.... Delivering a powerful message in the mirror......again letting myself know that I am on my side.....every single day....never willing to abandon me again......for anyone or any reason.... Happy Tuesday! :)