As I sit her on the dawn of NYE 2021......I have so much swirling inside of me.....so much to say and think about this year......this is without a doubt, and will remain my best worst year of all time.......it started soon after NYE last year, on Jan 7th when he left......and evolution took hold:) When I think of all I have accomplished in this past year it makes my heart sing.....makes me feel really proud of the grit I have exhibited, the will I have shown to endure.....no matter what......running each gauntlet that has been presented, up until and including ending the year with Covid......and each time I faced one.......knowing I would have to run it scared.....run it uncertain......I did......yelling sometimes all the way, screaming into the wind......and when I reached the end of it, victoriously, the accomplishment of it gave me the strength and will to keep showing up to do it over and over no matter what came my way......each time learning the lessons the gauntlets came carrying into my life......and being better for them on the other side.......I am sure in the new year some more will come.....that is life right? Not easy to avoid......but I do have this keen sense that 2022 will be different.....maybe not so many trials but many more magical things showing up......I have things I want to check off of my bucket list each month of this next year......I want to build my life coaching business......seek and find more things that set my soul ablaze, so I can continue to live with my eyes wide open.....and leave all things my marriage and life with Nick behind, truly.......as much as I am able.......I spent this year healing......honoring the space......working through it all, and have done pretty well.......but now it is time to move forward in a real sense in every single way........the past year has brought so many accomplishments and cool things to my door.........I have worked out and ran nearly every day of this past year......every single one......and the effort has paid off in amazing ways......I am currently the healthiest I have ever been, and in the best shape of my life at 45.........I have started an avid meditation practice that fills me up......bringing me peace and clarity each day.........I have stuck with my blog each and every day, and I am so grateful to all of you that read it and have stuck with me too:).....this blog has helped me sort out so many parts of this story and helped leave pieces behind......laying them down each day......I have become a true and avid hiker and outdoorsy kinda chick:)........I redid my bedroom.......learned much of what there was to learn about the upkeep of the outside of my home.......snow blowing, mowing, weed whacking........etc.........have found my "inner guy' to fix and do some stuff I did not want to.......learned to live on my own with my kids.......filling the space that was left with self care and music........just endless music........I have found joy and peace in my day to day.......knowing exactly where those things are found, never to be forgotten again......I have made new friends, some that I have come to love for the beauty and support they have brought into my life.......kindred spirits in every single way.......I have learned who my friends are and who they are not.......I have learned what I am really made of, when the rubber hits the road......and I trust myself more than I have every trusted another human in all my life.......I did things over and over this year that scared me.......that required much of me in every way.....that pushed my limits and boundaries.....that asked me to dig deep.....and each time the payoff was gold.......I have learned that faith, peace, and gratitude is all a person needs to succeed in this life.....and the courage and bravery to let go of things that they need to.......I have HIGH hopes for 2022 and know it will not disappoint no matter what lies ahead......because I have learned that happiness lies within, an inside job, and even if the world around you implodes, you can still choose it each and every day, and that is my plan indeed! I am SO ready for this NEW year and to leave this one behind.......I am leaving this year behind with gratitude in my heart and reverence for what it was in my life......one of the biggest catalysts to date.....the year I was SET FREE......free to live the life of my dreams.......and I am so ready:):)
reflections, gauntlets, change, and vision.......
jperuso
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