There is not much that rattles me about being a single mom and doing the things....but there is one.....one thing that inspires stress, and dread instantly....and yesterday it started.....Mads started with some congestion earlier in the day......I gave her allergy meds hoping that would do the trick.....but it progressed, and last night it got worse, and she was up in the night with congestion and not feeling well, and I had to call into work this morning:( And I cannot express the stress that brings to me.....and I have trained myself to instantly go to my mindset to change it, any time I feel that stress come a calling.....because I know that that is where my power lies.....but when my kids get sick during the school year it gets me every time.....and I cannot do a thing about it....I am her person, and the one that needs to care for her when she cannot go to school.....and it stresses me not due to my not wanting to care for her, or stay home, and take care of her.....it is stressful due to my knowing that I have a finite amount of sick time, and personal time, and it always goes so quickly....and it is only September:( and here we go......and really I need to just let it go....my boss is understanding about it.....and knows the deal....and my team is great......and it is what it is......if I end up taking time without pay again this year then I do.....nothing to be done about it......my stress last night lied in worrying about the whole week, and what if....and that was futile.....I know that better than anybody....for today it is just today....and I think it was extra stressful due to my parents being away too.....so there is no back up at all as this week takes hold.....and the responsibility of it all felt extra heavy......but I woke up determined to harness my mindset.....and not worrying about stuff I cannot change.....accepting what is today, has become my new superpower.....to let go.....and have faith, and not worry about it all.....I work on it endlessly because it goes against my nature, and I have fought that part of me, and worked to overcome it in my life now....and I trust it will work out, and lay out as it should.....I trust that.....and this final knee jerk panic will dissipate into the abyss too, I believe.....so this morning finds me breathing deeply....getting ready to type sub plans.....and trusting that whatever will be will be, will be, and I will be ok.....and hoping Mads has a cold, and is on the mend soon! And we are back at it! Happy Monday!
jperuso
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