SO Apropos though!!!!

I had a lightning bolt moment yesterday driving around. The kids were at VBC and I had to go to the courthouse to get my name change paper with the seal, and my divorce decree with the seal. All preparing for this morning, when I will be running around while my kids are at VBC and changing it all over:) The reclamation becoming mostly done today of my official name change back to my maiden name:) And yesterday I had written about my "energetic graduation" on Friday....and surviving the last 7 years of extreme shake ups and tests forged in fire and evolution......it hit me that of course, of course Friday would find me as a new person again, quite literally, revisiting my maiden name.....version 2.0 loading soon;-) And it may sound silly, but it wasn't to me.... to me that piece seems like the icing on the cake.....the cherry if you will........the culmination of the transformation and journey that has taken place the last 7 years....returning me to a place.....and part of this transformation has been remembering who I was before.......2.0 Jenn has many traits that I had before I met my ex husband....and in the beginning of my marriage.....so all of it is not about the new things that have changed...part of it has been about reclaiming MYSELF......pieces that got lost along the way for all sorts of reasons.......uncovering it......and remembering ME.....so reclaiming my former self as Friday arrives feels......well.....just perfect:) And maybe that is something that isn't talked about enough.....people talk about people changing in ways that they don't like, or their spouses don't like.....but really often times it is a person LOSING parts of themselves that is the issue.....losing those parts because those parts of themselves are not being fostered, sheltered, protected, and inspired to remain within their relationship....they are forced to create other traits to survive whatever situation they are in.....having the parts they wanted to hold onto fade away....being suffocated under the weight of the rest.....and I wanted to hang onto ME, parts that were a part of the factory settings:) Hardwired in there.....and so there was an abandonment of self that I think took place at the end of my marriage....and I had to find my way back to myself, if that makes sense? Returning home, to a place that felt like me, having not felt like me for a long time under the weight of the affair.....and now I feel I have authentically grabbed onto myself.....feeling more like me than I have my whole life.....integrating version 1.0 and 2.0:) So Friday will find me with my maiden name in tow, officially and well........that feels amazing.....bidding farewell to a different version of myself....a woman that was fierce in her own right.....a Mrs.......one that tried so damn hard....and believed so deeply......and let that wash all over her....the Mrs. stuff.....I am keenly aware often that my innate nature is a Mrs.......part of my factory settings involve being a "married" person......my natural inclination......but my path for the moment is living as a "single" person......being forced to adapt and acclimate......and it is OK I think to experience different parts of yourself.....it allows for a wholeness, a richness, an understanding of a lot of things.....but there is a part of myself that mourns the married inclinations of myself that can no longer live in this space in the now.....being saved for another day if you will. :) So yea, that lightning bolt hit me, having me realize so fully that this name change is significant......happening now.....amid the ending of this cycle.....and it feels magical.....being restored to myself fully.....in all the ways......AMEN:)

And P.S - Somebody that reads my blog also reached out with the connection that Friday is also "Independence Day" another irony that is now not lost on me 👏🏻❤️👏🏻😎