Shame on you, but thank you-

So there has been a sticky part of this journey and healing for me......and it is the fact that the night my ex left he turned his back on me completely.....I have not been able to reach out for anything that was needed in those early days, or anything.....only stuff surrounding the kids, but from all other places it is like I do not exist to him......early on my heat went out, and I texted him to ask what to do, and he did not answer.....and I could list a whole bunch of things.....but that isn't the point.....and I do not write this to make him look bad at all, I truly don't......he has his reasons for what he has done.....and I trust that they have made sense to him......but I needed to share that to share this part of it for me.....despite the pain of that initially, that has been one of his greatest gifts to me......and in the beginning I thought shame on you.......like how could you???? But what he did, without meaning to, was make me completely self reliant.....and propel me into learning all the stuff I needed to to live on my own and live my dreams......and his shunning of me allowed me to develop a deep belief in myself.......so deep that it has become unwavering......there is nothing now that I don't believe that I can do......and while it hurt me so much initially.....and it really did....it was so shocking to me after all we had gone through together.....it was another blessing in disguise.....because had he allowed me to rely on him for the small house stuff, or the stuff that came up, I would never have found my wings:) And I write about this today because I unveiled my kitchen today, and its finished state, and his leaving me with it torn apart, allowed for the day that I could make it my own, and for the kitchen I have now....if he had stayed to finish it, it would have been our kitchen not mine.....and I realize that fully now....and that makes it that much more special.....and his turning his back on me allowed for me to get over him more quickly.....and reconcile my feelings for him, and let them all go......and so he is not a person in the world I can look to for support and I have accepted that.....and it has helped me be able to seize a level of independence that surpasses anything I thought I would ever have in this life......and when I am coaching women and they are relying on their ex's for stuff I always share this part......Having them learn to rely on themselves a little more, there is power in that:).....being shoved off a cliff was disorienting and hard at first, but it helped me learn to catch myself:) And I am grateful to him for that......and wildly grateful for my finished kitchen and more proof that I can do hard things, and do them all on my own:)