Thank you for not loving me......truly

I got to do my coaching for Dr. Pathak's office last night.....and it was the stress management week, and mental health.....what a big topic.....and I think the reason my role works there so well, is because I have been in the places where some of the patients are struggling.....so I can offer hope and inspiration, but also understanding and empathy too.....finding my way to the pillars of health quite by happy accident:) And as is always true Dr. Pathak offers fresh new information in her presentations. I learn something new every time.......And last night I learned that broken heart syndrome is real.....those little old couples that pass close to one another, presenting with heart stuff, their heart has actually changed negatively.....and it can be reversed over time......but it also can be fatal.....and that smiling and laughing often adds up to a decade to your life! So keep grinning:) But I got to deep dive a little more into my story last night, going back further into my 20s and some of the challenges found there....But I started with the gratitude I feel for living THIS life.....making me instantly emotional some, because this life is a life where I get to feel vibrant and healthy:).....having learned to not let stuff get in......yesterday having a situation, threatening to rattle my peace....and feeling the feelings, but then stepping over it, choosing my peace and happiness over petty nonsense, and having the energy be returned to sender......and it is a result of my choosing to feel GRATITUDE for those that did not love me, and treat me well and show me the love I deserved......or return the love I gave in the end of our time together.....their final act being a gift......wrapped in shiny paper, donning a great big bow! With a beautiful tag:) Because their final gift to me, allowed me to LOVE MYSELF......but more importantly realizing I needed to! There was a time in my life when I didn't know that.....feeling as if loving on others was enough, and not having my needs in the mix at all......running ragged, all of it, as I have shared......But last night as I was speaking to the group it hit me again.....I am so grateful it makes me cry.....and goosebumps pop out......THIS LIFE.....returning a lack of love, with the greatest love of all......I have been living in the greatest love story for nearly 5 years:)......the one I share with my children, and myself......just pouring into us, taking energy that was washed away by futility, and taking the power of it back, and pouring it into us! And we are blooming as a result! :) NO question, SO I don't live in the bitterness, there is no point.....when people do ugly things, ugly things find them....that is true......the gifts I have gotten in this chapter, can't be bought....no amount of money being able to purchase them.......so I stay in my light......and in my lane, and choose light bearing stuff.....and the high road.....because not only does it feel better.....but it also continues to lead me to my blessings:) And I will never let anybody drag me out of character.....never......turn me into somebody I am not due to their own ugliness.....I REFUSE.....they have to live with themselves....that is punishment enough actually, if you believe in that sorta thing.....but I have reached a place where I have created a force field.....a protective barrier from things......allowing the feelings to arise, and then go.....like waves in the ocean.....not hanging onto it.....so thank you for not loving me.....because in that space I learned to.....and I am doing a damn good job of it......I got it from here:) xoxox Happy Thursday!