THE decision.......

Making a decision is normally something I am pretty comfortable with......I feel my way through my life, and trust my heart and my gut most of the time to steer the ship.....and particularly now......I look back on the last couple of years and I don't regret the decisions I have made and feel each one has brought me to this moment in my life......but I am currently wrestling with what feels like a big decision.....and my intuition on it is muddied some......or maybe I am dragging my feet and avoiding it some.......but either way I am struggling with it.....so I am giving it room to breathe.....this week was not the week to make this decision......the entire week was challenging minus Tuesday and the full moon and eclipse ironically, and last night was pretty great doing some coaching at Dr. Pathak's office:) But the rest of it was woah......so I gave myself till Friday in my mind to make the decision....but my plan was to get quiet, and pray about it, meditate some, and listen and really spend time figuring out what the best avenue was, and I did not have that time yet.......so I am extending my own deadline till Monday.......so I have the time to do that......it is a big enough decision, that will affect others, and deserves that kind of care and discernment.........and outside looking in on my life may have people thinking they would know what they would do if they were me.....but that is a trap.....and a dangerous mentality to carry to anybody's life......you never know what you would do till you are faced with it.....and you are you.......so......it is not as straightforward as people may think it seems.......so I am taking the responsibility that comes with the decision I am facing, and treating it with the care and consideration it deserves......and it is uncomfortable to be wrestling to the degree I am with it all.....I like clean lined easy decisions.....or ones that are right there and easy to make.....not ones that feel so damn heavy......life has felt a little like that lately......like I am carrying a boulder some days, wishing I had a place to put it down......so this morning finds me breathing.....taking the pressure off of myself till Monday first thing......trusting the answer will find me this weekend.....and carving out time this weekend to hear the answer.......as for today it is Friday:) Gabe has a football game tonight, it is a jeans day, and we got this:) Happy Friday:)