Mi Amore......

Happy Valentine's Day! A day of love and showing others how much we love them....and yeah that is important, a practice we should be doing every day....not just on this day.....but whether you are loved up with somebody today, or on your own, this day can still be a celebration of love! The decision I made 4 years ago to love myself better.....to make that my aim....and to have discipline to do it, has changed everything......staying single, and working on myself.....figuring out how to love me best.......and taking the time to do that.....and I believe it is the greatest love of all, the love we show ourselves, and the grace, and the patience, and I believe it translates into how we love others.....and I know sometimes it gets a bad rap, or people think we are stressing people by telling them that until they love them others won't, and that isn't true.....love will find us regardless, I believe that....but there is a shift that happens when you finally make peace with things that have walked with you all of your life......that peace transcends so much.....and it is something that cannot be taken from you......my inner dialogue used to be so unkind and harsh with myself about everything......never cutting myself any slack, and holding a ridiculous standard for myself, and one I certainly wasn't able to meet, not with the stress I was living under......under the weight of his affair, in the middle, I had put on some weight that I felt just horrid about.......and I was desperately trying to rectify it.....standing in front of the mirror berating myself......taking pictures to try and motivate a before and after vibe.....and trying to walk and exercise and eat better and then Covid came, and the kids and I started walking and it began to help.......the weight started to go......but the dumpster fire that was my mind was still burning.....and the pressure was immense, to change my body, to save my marriage, to do it all....and the burden was great and then in the aftermath it all happened so easily......just focusing on taking good care of me.....that was it.....and the body I wanted followed that....the mental health and peace I wanted showed up, and the happiness returned to me, the dumpster fire stopped burning and went out, and now maintaining my fitness and a healthier me feels effortless most days......and I kept those pictures of that sad woman that was trying so damn hard and they are a reminder of that self love that I finally decided to give myself......and it was by way of deciding to love me no matter what......fiercely and completely....finally....so if you are reading this and feeling as if love is lacking in your life, I understand completely....and have been there, and the way is to pour that love you have, and to give it to yourself....I promise it will change everything......everything......and enjoy the day keeping LOVE in mind, in all of its glorious forms:) Love wins, and it is always all you need........xoxoxo