The grief of childhood, hang on my Girl.......

I post about my kids often because they are my life....a giant part of my life is them, and they are one of the best parts of my life, no question.....this journey has been about a lot of things, but so much of that has had to do with them.....they are my heartbeat, and live deep within my soul.....and I have said it often, I know people are crazy about their kids, but there is a special quality that lives within the three of us, a magic that activates when it is just us......and the way we exist with one another, that I am not sure everybody experiences that .....we were designed, intentionally, to do THIS life.....I know that so completely.....and there is grief finding our journey this holiday season, as I realize that childhood is a fleeting part of it......my son always keeping a childlike innocence presence, alongside my daughter being so much younger than him......and she is getting pulled by the world around her to lose that some....wanting to hang on......her friends challenging the idea of the Elves and Santa.....and whether they are real.....and her heart desperately wants to believe.....I have been watching her wrestle with it some.....and yesterday during the snow day she verbalized it to me.... her frustration in seeing the girls her age want to be "grown" and not believe in those things, and she does.....and how they are "enemies" with their moms.....and how she doesn't want to be enemies with me, and doesn't like that because she thinks I am her best friend....so I told her simply to be true to herself.....commit to that so fiercely, and believe in her magic so fiercely, that the rest will fall away......and I could see relief find her.....she is SO strong....and so willing to be herself....not subject to peer pressure....she is a leader, even now....and gosh I love that about her......I have evolved into a leader, but did not embody it in that way at her age....wanting to fit in so desperately.....she had done a group call on Monday night with her friends, before the storm....and I noticed yesterday she did not seek to connect with them.....happy to dive into being a kid.....we shoveled, she sledded, we watched Polar Express, we made dinner, and cozied in in all the ways....and I feel the grief, just as she does.....she is my baby....and we are bidding farewell to a chapter in our lives.....I am guessing she won't believe next year....and well, her brother always will, so that softens the blow....and I will have a Santa partner in crime perhaps....and that will soften the shift.....but it isn't easy.....I think as I journey the thing that strikes me most, is that change is constant.....and attaching to anything being any way, is not the way, even though it feels so damn good.....we need to be fluid.....and accept the ebb and flow.....I think that is the stuff that stands out from childhood..... the traditions.....the predictability.....and the steadiness and comfort found in them......and so as my girl evolves....and grows.....so will we.....we will seek to add new traditions as we go......find the magic no matter what.....I want to take them over break to the city.....taking the train.....and knowing they will love it....but this morning my heart is heavy some, for her, for me......for our magic bubble that lives within these walls.....that I fiercely protect, because it is my favorite.....and I cannot imagine having been thrown into this life without it, the gift of that never lost on me:)