The LOVE mirror!

I have been watching a cheesy relationship reality show......one of my guilty pleasures from time to time.....I don't watch much TV these days but every once in awhile I catch a deliciously ridiculous binge lol:) And sometimes nuggets to ponder are found there, surprisingly enough.....and there were a couple of sad break ups on this one....neither person being able to be who the other needed......and you could see the toll of what becoming adapted and acclimated to their new normal had done to them.....and there was a bitterness, and edge in the woman because she was so done with his stuff....and I could resonate with that.....sometimes love is like a mirror, and the reflection you start to see under the weight of the issues changes you, but maybe more importantly changes how you show up....and it breeds a certain level of unhappiness, that has nowhere to go but to be expressed, and each person plays their part, reflecting their partner's stuff......and pretty soon.....well.....you don't recognize yourself at all....and I have experienced that more than once in my life.....not recognizing me anymore....and love is blind....that is also true.....we tend to see people through our own lens....and sometimes the credit and accolades we give them, do not belong to them....they are a creation of our mind.....and I now know that applies to romantic love, or even a friendship.....when we care for a person we tend to see what we want to see....and sometimes the truth of it gets covered up....and once we see it, we can't unsee the truth of who they really are....and I suppose in line with what I wrote about yesterday, and grieving the living, there is grief in that too........reconciling who they really are amid who we believed they were for so long.....and oof.....that is hard to swallow.....and so in watching this silly little show, it reminded me of how paramount it is to be able to fully be ourselves inside of love....hang onto our authenticity and spirit, not losing ourselves under the weight of other's demons.....and maybe that is what this span of time has been for me....really getting to know and being comfortable learning who I am now.....and being unwilling to lose parts of myself for anybody.....or have anybody say who I am....because I know so deeply now....and in my mind love should inspire you to be more of you.....invite YOU to come out and play often and revel in that......feeling seen and heard and understood on repeat....that is the MOST powerful thing we can offer another human....to really see, hear, and understand them......and to be brave.....not lack courage in love, it requires us to be courageous and brave too, and we should rise to that occasion, if we really want that:) and I have written many times about love in this blog....in lots of forms, and in lots of ways, and for lots of reasons......and I have yet to experience what it is I seek.....I have come close......in certain ways, and at certain points.....but there is a piece that has been elusive....and because I never have experienced it yet in this life, it requires a deep faith within me that IT EXISTS......I know that so fully....that an ease finds you when it is right.....all the pieces falling into place, and peace reigning supreme.....and joy....and light....and ease, and validation.....all of it.......so I continue to work on embodying the stuff I want to receive, and healing, and moving forward, knowing that one day I will mirror those same things in another....having that mirror be healthy and joy filled.....being invited to show up as me.....and inviting the same in another.....and it is a cautionary tale to anybody reading....it is easy to become somebody you don't recognize in your relationship.....SO easy, especially when you deeply love somebody, so I hope if you are experiencing that, you get to find a way to fix that....I despised the way I started to feel at the end of my marriage.....not feeling like me at all....and hating the dance we danced together.....this dysfunctional dance taking hold of our lives and story.....and I felt stuck in it....no way out......no way to be me, because we were in a loop......so you can free yourself from the loop or be freed, which was my story...:) And you can become reacquainted with YOU! The REAL you....not the you that had to be created to function in the dance! Some food for thought:) Happy Saturday:)