The reformation.......

I am learning how to be a reformed people pleaser......finding my way to my boundaries and seeking to fulfill my needs too, amid the rest of the world....and it hasn't been comfortable....I was really good at denying myself for the sake of others.....really good at it.....making myself uncomfortable so others could be......and that was something in me that had to be extinguished in this story......now when it comes to my kids that doesn't count.....I will always do whatever I feel is right, even if that means being uncomfortable for them.....but the boundaries that live in other parts of my life have to be strong......being somebody that is willing to let others needs and comforts come before your own comes at a price......I have found you get taken advantage of.....takers taking while you give......and that is so hard.....because I think there was a part of me that always thought if I show up the way I want to be treated.....and give the things I wish to receive, they would be given to me in return.....and that just isn't so......now that isn't to say that we don't reap what we sow....I do believe that......the gifts we give to the world find their way to us.......I believe that just not always how we expect:)....and standing up now in my boundaries, and my clear understanding of what I need to do to feel peace and happiness is still a process for me.....I think those tendencies came from being the oldest child.....always seeking to make everybody and everything OK.....and sometimes that was at the expense of myself.....and old habits die hard......it is uncomfortable to stand up for myself......and make my boundary clear.....it feels icky still to me, when I need to do it.....but I am learning that I don't have to suffer for others......I just don't.......and that I can still be kind, and nice, and flexible and understanding, without being taken advantage of.......I seek to have people in my life now that give to the extent that I do.....in fact it is a requirement.....and if that is not happening it is my cue to back up some, and take a look......because my nature is to give.....and I do not say that to brag at all.....I come by it completely honestly.....it is just in me......I want to make people feel a certain way around me, or with me and it brings me great joy and satisfaction.....I never feel resentment from shining my love on others....never....even the times it has burned me......but the difference now is that I will still do that......but I won't do it to the detriment of myself again......I won't.....so each year I have been on my own has found me learning more about this piece of my life, and how to implement it in my day to day and how to spot when I need to be mindful of it......it is a work in progress for sure......reimagining yourself and reforming parts of you that no longer serve you is hard work.......worthwhile but never easy.....and I am here for it! If you are reading this and tend to people please......remember that you get to have a say too......you get to have your needs met too.....and it is OK to ask to have them met, no matter the response......your people will find you and meet your needs I promise:) Have a great day:)