I had begun to get ocular migraines after I had Mads....but I cannot remember exactly when.....I think it was around when Covid came to call.....maybe......the first time I had one I was terrified and thought I was having a stroke....I started to get blurry vision in one eye....then lost vision......luckily my mom knew what they were, her co worker had had them....and in a half an hour it went away, and left me with this exhaustion, and a dull and foggy cognitive imprint for the remainder of the day....and I hated getting them.....because I hated the way they made me feel....and when my ex began his affair I was pretty happy with myself.....I was a size 8 and feeling pretty good....Mads was 2.....and my body was acclimating and finding its way back.......I had gained a good amount with her and had a lot of fluid find me at the end of my pregnancy with her.....and I had been walking a lot and just feeling overall pretty good....however when I discovered his affair, and began living under the weight of that knowledge.....I had begun to put on a few pounds....like the weight of that literally translated to actual weight on me.....I am guessing all the stress hormones didn't help at all....so I didn't feel all that great about me....as time wore on.....for that reason and many others....I could feel him taking my inventory about everything, and being compared to a woman I didn't know.....all of that is clear now.....but as all of that got worse so did my migraines.....I would get them a couple of times a month......most months weekly or more......and they got bad enough that I made an appointment with a neurologist....and they scanned me and saw nothing was wrong with my brain....I had a little something there that was normal, likely from birth, and he said we could watch....but other than that nothing was wrong that would be causing the migraines.....and he wanted to prescribe medicine.....and I was resistant to that.....wanting to know the source of them?? They came out of the blue.......and he became agitated with me, and said well if you take this medication you can also maybe take a couple of pounds off too! That is one of the side effects of this medicine........... Like what???? Excuse me neurologist sir??? I was stunned.....he wanted me to take the medicine, and shut up about the cause of them and move on.....and so I left that office and did not take his medication.....wanting to find a way to make them go away.......I began to walk more during Covid shedding a few of the pounds that were bugging me, and I began to get them less and less....but was still getting them.....and then he left......on that infamous Thursday night.....and I found daily exercise in the aftermath...... and much less stress eventually....and guess what THEY ARE GONE........I haven't had one in over 2 years......or maybe even longer now, I have lost track.......and it is powerful......powerful what taking care of yourself can do and what not taking care of you can too......also all the weight I had carried was shed quite literally.....we beat ourselves up, but there was no way I could get into shape under those conditions....no way.......and once that stress was gone it was easy.....it just fell off, and health came and found me.........I believe the reason they are gone is partially to do with exercise, and a big part....... but I believe the bigger portion is my stress management....and the absence of that toxic kind of stress in my life......carrying all of that around was killing me....causing migraines for goodness sakes! Stress in the number one killer and it is so true...and while I still have stress find me, it doesn't have a place to get in anymore:) Not in the same way.....I have armored myself with good sleep......meditation........exercise........writing.....and taking good care of my entire self.....mind.....body.....spirit! It is on my bucket list to write my neurologist friend an informative letter soon;-) explaining to him how wrong he was......and giving him a little feedback on his bedside manner:) Enjoy the day! :)
jperuso
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