Travel!.....

I got my passport in my maiden name yesterday and posted about it....and some might think that is silly.....lots of folks have a passport right?? But for me it represented so much more than the ability to travel abroad....it is a tangible representation of my freedom.....I have written many times about my pull toward being independent....autonomous......having always loved that.....even when I was married.....I was likely more independent than I should have been....I also loved it as a kid....roaming the streets on my timeline....making decisions....it is a part of me no question.....and it is interesting that it is is so strong in me, because like I have said before I am also a couple person....liking being committed and all of that....not seeking to have that love of freedom affect that, or the inherent loyalty and commitment that that suggests.....it is a personal freedom I seek I guess....and maybe I will need to balance it better someday....but for now I can let it run free...and that little passport book, tickles that part of me so completely lol:) Realizing that I believe I have only used a passport twice in my life.....once to London as a teenager, and then on my honeymoon to Mexico.....and that trip to London called to me...I had to pay for it myself, which I could because I always had a job, and had had a paper route as a young girl.....and I forget what it was....maybe a little over a $1,000 then......and we spent 7 days seeing EVERYTHING....having the time of our lives....and while I love being home and cozying in....I do love adventuring too.....and that part was not present for a long time....having a special needs son, and navigating big life stuff often, left little room for exploring energy....and you also lose parts of yourself sometimes along the way by accident....if they are not nurtured or supported....so that was part of it too....my forgetting parts of me. And so the excitement that people see, and my announcements and proclamations, stem from a giddy excitement over having found my way back to ME.....feeling more like me, or things that existed long ago again......like finding a box in your attic with memorabilia you had forgotten about:) It feels like that! Like oh yea, there that is:) And seeing my maiden name in print on it........feels like something after all I have walked through......so my intent is to put some miles on that passport in the next decade.....seeing some things.......having some magical adventures....living free....and experiencing new things....and I know the way will appear, just like it has at each and every turn......The next step is for me to get passports for my kids....I need to have their dad there, or get a form notarized by him, so that will take some time.....but one step at a time....the name change led to this, quite by accident.....and I trust that it will all fall into place:) Opening a door for me and this morning I am reveling in the FEELING of the freedom.....and the real freedom I feel in my life......being in charge of my life feels good....not heavy....but like I am right where I belong. I am hopeful that one day I will meet somebody that will allow me to balance that fierce independence some....allowing me to lean in.....and be there to hold space for that.....I know it will always be a part of me and they will need to be strong enough to understand that too....no need to save me, just support me some is all:) Happy Tuesday:)