Unintentional hurt.......

That is the tough stuff right.....the hurt people lay on us in our lives that they don't mean to.....a hurt that stems from their hurt, or themselves, or their perspective.....and the kind that doesn't have clarity found in it so easily.....I am feeling some of that this morning.....and am not sure where to put it......I think I will call a friend, and work it out some, and then sit with it......I have some chores to dive into as I figure it out......but I think the unintentional kind of hurt is perhaps the worst kind......I often think my ex also did not mean to hurt myself or our kids in the ways he did....ways I am not sure he still realizes and will likely never know........I don't believe there was much thought beyond the life he was living at the time......and I am sure there was some hope that it wouldn't fall out the way it did....cause as much pain, .but there it was.....a colossal pile of hurt and there was nothing to be done.....so I am in touch with some hurt this morning that found me this weekend and I will figure out how to work it through.....remaining clear and understanding the lack of intention in it....giving grace for that......but acknowledging how I feel also.....an important piece I think.....I think there are people in our lives that have a hard time validating our feelings.....being quick to be defensive instead of really hearing us.....and that is the most challenging of all maybe.....and I have found when that happens it causes me to get elevated and heated in a way I don't like to get my point across, and I am no longer doing that......if I am not heard I am not going to keep saying it.....I am going to work toward the acceptance of not being understood or heard......and just leave it......it is always something that strikes me when this comes up.....that if we could really SEE the hurt that others live with, we would be more gentle.....more understanding, kinder.....more open.....more empathetic......quicker to lay it all down.....and understand where somebody is coming from.....the most dangerous thing we can do to another human is only see it from our perspective.....wearing the perspectives of others is paramount.....and believing that how they are feeling is valid.....despite what we think they should be feeling.....my kids ended up waking up and feeling OK yesterday, wanting to see their dad some , so my wrapping got done, and I hope this is a short lived cold on its way out....and this morning I will process the hurt I feel, and find a way through it. I have some chores to start tackling and having my wrapping completely done so far ahead feels pretty amazing:) Enjoy the day! :0