Verbal and emotional abuse.....

Today I am tackling a sensitive topic......one that we don't talk about enough.....and one that gets minimized, however I believe it is just as harmful as physical abuse, in nearly every way.....I am grateful to have never experienced physical abuse in my life.....that is a blessing never lost on me, considering some of the places I have been......however I have experienced verbal and emotional abuse......and it leaves its mark.....and it is what I have been overcoming in recent years.....and unfortunately when those things happen to you, they become your inner voice.....you start to believe it.....you start to show up in ways that are not who you are.....the world becomes murky and disorienting.....and it is painful.....it is painful to watch somebody you love actively hurt you with their words and actions.....both of those things holding SO much power......and we are all human right?? Subject to all sorts of things.....and I am not perfect either.....I do not write this to say that.....but I have had a rule for a long time, and I am careful with my words......and actions.....having only a couple of times I can count where I regret my use of words or actions.....and that feels like something....and I only think that is the case because I have been on the other end of it so often....and know how it feels.....and never want to hurt somebody else that way, and I was on the other side to the point where it was "normal"....the cycle spinning....something happening.....apologizing or maybe sometimes even not....and my forgiving, trying to forget and moving on, and then there it was again.....and it has happened in several parts of my life, not just one......and it is a powerful weapon for the person using it.....it really is.....and now I see it all so clearly.....more of that sweet clarity arriving to shine light in dark places....because here is the insidious thing about it.....when you live it....and it becomes your normal....or slides in the back door, and is just there all of a sudden.....you can make excuses in your mind.....or tell yourself things that make it "not so bad".....and it is your life.....and maybe other people live that way too?? What is normal anyway?? All those questions swirling, and keeping the abuse commonplace......and tolerated....and sometimes it is in the absence of it, where it becomes the most clear.....having lived now in a chapter where my love of myself is on point, and I hold a higher standard for my life, for myself and my kids.....those things stand out......and I can say with certainty, it will never be tolerated again......I don't care if love, or anything else is involved, or any of it....the first time somebody disrespects me ever again.....I am gone..........there is a way to communicate that doesn't need to be that way....and maybe if you are reading, you are lying to yourself too.....I get that, and you are not alone.....in your heart YOU KNOW though, right??......I knew......every time it happened.....that it was not the right thing.....with every fiber of my being.....yet........but that is how a cycle spins......till somebody breaks it....and having the courage to break it is the way.....I was able to do that for my daughter.....showing her what it means to walk when respect was no longer being served......and her self respect is on point so far.....and I plan on doing EVERYTHING in my power to keep that be the case.....I talk to her often about it.....the things she should never tolerate.....not ever......hoping that my voice be bigger than any other influence.....to drown out anything that could lead her to any places I have been......So please remember.....you deserve to be somewhere, where your nervous system feels protected and peaceful.....where volatility doesn't live......where peace reigns.....where kind words are spoken as often as they can be, and love is served endlessly....if nobody has ever said that to you, I want to, you deserve it:) Happy Wednesday! xoxo